Get Your "Fash" On!

Priyanka Chopra has been releasing a slew of movies that display none of her talent, save for her fighting skills (God Tussi Great Ho, Chamku, Love Story 2050, Drona). But, finally--finally!--we get to see the Piggy Chops we saw in Aitraaz and Aap Ki Khatir and Bluffmaster and Salaam-e-Ishq.

Fashion is directed by Madhur Bhandakar, best known for his gritty exposes on different parts of Indian life. Three of his most popular films also served as a vehicle for a certain actress: Chandni Bar for Tabu; Page 3 for Konkona Sensharma; and Corporate for Bipasha Basu. Corporate and Page 3 had the opposite effect: Page 3 turned an actress into a star and Corporate turned a star into an actress. Bhandarkar does the same favor he did for those girls for Priyanka Chopra. Supported by Kangana Ranaut, newcomer Mughda Godse, Arbaaz Khan, Samir Soni, Ashwin Mushran, Kitu Godwani and Arjan Bajwa, Chopra confidently leads this cast and the viewer is in a for a bumpy ride.

The story begins on Wall Street where Meghna Mathur toils daily. She lives on the Upper East Side where she is only a central park away from her favorite cousin, who lives on the Upper West Side...WAIT. Wrong Meghna Mathur...The Meghna Mathur in FashFash is played by Priyanka Chopra. This Meghna lives in Chandigarh and dreams of being a big model. Against her parents' wishes, she moves to Bombay and meets up with designer Rahul (Soni). He introduces her to Anisha Roy (Godwani) who scores her a contract with Panache, headed by Abhijeet Sarin (Khan). She starts dating Manav (Bajwa), a struggling model. As Meghna climbs the ladder of success, supermodel Shonali (Ranaut) is on the decline with an abusive boyfriend, a drug addiction and a bad reputation at fashion show rehearsals. Janet (Godse), another struggling model, marries Rohit (Mushran), who is a gay designer pressured to get married by his family. Theirs is a marriage of convenience. Slowly, Meghna's success gets to her head and she reaches to the top of modeling world. How Meghna slowly falls until she hits rock bottom and has to redeem herself forms this tale of greed, ambition, glory and, of course, the world of FASHION.

This movie brings together two of my many passions: Priyanka Chopra and high-end fashion. Ah, yes, nothing makes me happier than looking at outfits that are so ugly and unwearable yet ridiculously overpriced and overdesired. It makes me feel better about my own clothing choices (thanks Hennes & Mauritz!). I guess I never figured that India would have their own Oscar de la Renta or Donna Karan, though now that seems obvious. I can't help but wonder: does each designer or label have a counterpart in another country? I have to say that the clothes in the movie are abso fabulous. I liked Priyanka's second fashion show the best, the one with the Thai-styled Indian clothing.

The fashion of Fashion aside, this movie really belongs to Priyanka, though there are no surprises there. Bhandakar really knows how to exact a strong performance from his lead. The reason why his films work is that he makes character studies fooling themselves into thinking they're industry studies. I'll be a little more clear: Fashion thinks it's an expose on the world of fashion, and to an extent it is, but in reality we are seeing the world of fashion as experienced by Meghna Mathur. It's more how she deals with the obstacles and victories than how it deals with her.

I wrote a poem describing my thoughts on Priyanka's performance. "Nindiyaan se jaagi Priyanka/Aisa acting dekha pehli baar (in 2008)." Yes, 2008 has not been a great year for Piggy Chops and that's okay...every great actress has that period where she is underused (or whole careers in Raima Sen's case). But the important thing is, like every great actress, she bounced back with a thunderous, full-bodied performance. Ms. Chopra gloriously embodies Meghna Mathur and just everything about her performance is stellar. As God as my witness (lol Scarlett O'Hara), I promise you Priyanka will be not ignored come awards season.

The other performances are not so stellar. Samir Soni is a riot as a stereotypically gay designer/confidant. "Spare me the horror" is his catchphrase which is hilarious! Mughda Godse is indeed God se since she gives the best performance of the supporting cast. Hers and Ashwin Mushran's subplot gives some heart to the proceedings. He also gives a natural performance. Kitu Godwani and Arjan Baswa are fine. Baswa shines in the breakup scene and Godwani gets points for being named Anisha. Arbaaz Khan is strictly okay. Was that Kashmira Shah playing his wife? Kashmira Shah...man, oh, man.

This brings me to Kangana Ranaut. Her career is filled with strong performances of women who are really falooda'd up: Gangster, Woh Lamhe, Life in a... Metro, Shakalaka Boom Boom). And she is a good actress. But her dialogue delivery negates everything good about the physicality of her acting. If she could just play a mute, everything would be good. Her body language is stellar but the language coming out of her mouth is not.

The music fits the fashion theme, with beats that suit the runway. You don't really take the songs home with you, though. But that's been true for all of Bhandakar's films. Except for "O Sikandhar" from Corporate. That was a fantastic qawaali...

Also, the writer is stalking our family (there was a Meghna, an Anisha, a Riya, my namesake, and Isaac Mizrahi's alter ego, Manish Malhotra did a cameo). Priyanka Chopra and the fashion of Fashion are the real stars. If you don't care about fashion, see it for Priyanka. If you don't care about Priyanka, see it for the fashion. If you don't care about either, see it anyway since it is an exceptionally well-made film. Fashion rates an 8.5/10.

PS - Konkona Sensharma and Ranvir Shorey have a surprisingly good cameo. Get those two in a movie RIGHT NOW.

And Boom Goes the Dynamite

I have unfinished reviews for the soundtracks of Dostana and Yuvvraaj and I will get those done but this is more pressing. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is SRK's new film, directed by the man who made the classic DDLJ and the only slightly inferior Mohabbatein, Aditya Chopra. Yes, AdiChops is bringing us a third directorial venture no less than eight years later. I was excited for it. I'm not SRK's biggest fan but I do like him in his element and not as a firefighter/construction worker. The female lead was supposed to be the lovely Sonam Kapoor but she was replaced by newcomer Anushka Sharma, who is now celebrating her graduation from middle school. Just kidding but she is younger than I am. Music is by Salim-Sulaiman by whom the Chopras swear but I don't know why. Their music is average and must be lifted by the visuals or choreographer Vaibhavi Merchant (by whom I swear). The lyrics are by Jaideep Sahni.

The first track is "Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai" and the title itself is boring. I guess I can be found guilty of referring to celebrities as heavenly beings. But this unbearable song is one of those love songs where the guy lathers praise on the girl and assigns her to be his everything (no pressure). S-S give this song standard dholak/flute music. Roop Kumar Rathod sounds listless. What bothers me is that Mahalakshmi Iyer does some background vocals and she's not even credited! Not a good opening. 5/10.

The next song is perhaps the most interesting of them all. "Haule Haule" features Sukhwinder Singh singing about how slowly he's falling in love. To say that this is the best of RNBDJ isn't saying much. Yet again we have a male solo dedicated to praising Ms. Sharma. What of her perspective? S-S provide music that's at least of this decade, the lyrics are semi-fresh but Singh's rendition did what Rathod should have done in the previous track--have emotion whilst singing. (It's not that hard Roop!) "Haule Haule" rates an 8/10.

Dearest readers, this next song is SO BAD that I would gladly listen to a disaster called "Oop Oop Cha" anytime than listen to "Dance Pe Chance". This Sunidhi Chauhan solo is so banal, I can't even comprehend the lyrics. Or the idea behind it. SRK finally plays his age so maybe the pubescent Anushka Sharma is trying to show him how to be hip with this clubby dance track from 2004. Also annoying is that Labh Janjua ("Pyaar Karke Pachtaaya" from Pyaar Ke Side/Effects) gets a singing credit. Is this a duet? No! He does background. "Dance Pe Chance" is the worst song of the year. 3/10. I love you, Sunidhi.

"Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte" is a Sonu Nigam solo and only he can stop you from hitting the skip! button. The lyrics of this song are literally a mishmash of lines from older songs. It's not a remix, just an original composition (still not from this year) with lyrics from such classics as "Badan Pe Sitaarein Lapete Hue" or "Dard-e-Dil, Dard-e-Jigar" or "Jai Jai Shiv Shankar". Just because it might be better on screen, I'll give this one a 5/10.

Shreya Goshal delivers a reprise of "Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai" and it is no more interesting than Roop Kumar Rathod's rendition. Finally, though, Anushka Sharma's character gets some song-acting to do. For that reason and for Shreya's earnest rendition, this two minute number gets a 5.5/10.

The last song on this album (did I age 3 years? No, it just felt like it) is an instrumental remix of all the songs. This one at least holds your attention. 5.5/10.

This album is a sorry comeback for as great a director as AdiChops. Maybe he's lost his touch or maybe his touch is just what this album needs. I'm sure we'll all be swept away by SRK's charm and the compelling love story RNBDJ will turn out to be. But at this point in my life, I'm just looking for some DDLJ mp3s. The album gets a 33/60. Best song: "Haule Haule" but download "Dance Pe Chance" also just for kicks.

PS - I couldn't even listen to songs while writing the review. Don't worry, I sat through it 2.5 times today.

Suddenly, Last October

Allah Rakkhha Rahman surely has some divine force in him to create such earth-shatteringly innovative musical pieces. And everytime he releases a new soundtrack you think, "Wow, he reached his limit and has no more to offer us. He has exhausted his given gift." I mean, his first score was Roja, way back in 1992. Sixteen years of creativitity has to take a toll on a man. I thought he reached that limit with his masterly Jodhaa Akbar, an iconic landmark in musical history, perfectly blending the musical stylings of the era while making them relatable to the 21st century. Yes, Rahman made Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na in between JA and now but that only only boasted of three songs which had traces of the Rahman of yore ("Kabhi Kabhi Aditi," "Jaane Tu Mera Kya Hai (Aditi)" and, of course, "Pappu Can't Dance").

Then suddenly, last October, the score for a little Indo-European musical opus called Yuvvraaj was released (onto CoolToad). This is a film directed by Subash Ghai and it promised to return him to his roots after 2.5 disasters. (The degree of Black & White's failure is debatable). Also, it boasted of a star cast that only Ghai could bring together: Anil Kapoor (aka me in 25 years), Salman Khan, Boman Irani, Zayed Khan and newcomerAushima Sawhney. Don't you worry, she's not the main female lead. Katrina Kaif, who plays a cellist named Anushka in the film, finally gets that big dramatic role that will take her from glamour girl to serious actress. The lyrics are by Gulzar, who delights us with his stunning poetry.

The album opener is called "Main Hoon Yuvvraaj." No, it's not a title song. It's a dialogue track with Sallu explaining his character, accompanied by Beethoven's Symphony No. 5. Salman is impressive enough and the choice of music fits well with this Western style musical. I'm not going to rate this track.

The first real song is called "Tu Hi Toh Meri Dost Hai" and it is spectacular. This simple love song is filled with complex melodies and inspiriing lyrics. Relative newcomer Benny Dayal starts off the song strongly but it is Shreya Goshal's entrance in the first verse that steals the show. In her second outing with Rahman ("Barso Re") Shreya knocks you out with her mesmerising vocals. Love it! 10/10.

The next song is "Shano, Shano" and it is unimpressive. Every Rahman score has that one song that just isn't up to par with the rest ("Mann Mohana," "Mere Dil Ka Woh Shehezaada," "Jhoombalika, Jhoombalika") and this is that song. The lyrics are just plain out dumb--no offense, Gulzar! Rahman's tradition of using new singers and veterans is upheld here. "Shano, Shano" is sung by Sonu Nigam, Srinivas, Karthik, Timmy, Sunaida, Vivienne Pocha and Tina of which I only know the first three. Rahman uses some interesting arrangements for this dance track but it has the misfortune of being sandwiched between two stellar tracks. 6/10.

Katrina Kaif is hands down the most beautiful woman in Bollywood (sorry, Amrita Singh) and there is just something enchanting about the image of her playing the cello. Actually, there's a funny story as to why I think this. Rahman himself in an interview with IndiaFM said, "The sight of a beautiful girl playing an instrument like the cello seems like an overwhelming visual. It's really nice." Having read this, I looked at all the Yuvvraaj pictures with Katrina at the cello and became obsessed with the image. If this movie is as spectacular as it promises, Katrina at the Cello will be as iconic an image as Akshay-Raveena in "Tu Cheez," the James Bond Gun Barrel sequence or Carrie in her tutu.

All of this leads to "Tu Muskura," the very same song for which Rahman fans have been asking endlessly. Sung effortlessly and sensually by Alka Yagnik and Javed Ali, this song has a perfect composition and astounding lyrics. Alka Yagnik can add this to her Hits Of list along with "Yeh Silsila Hai Pyaar Ka," "Barso Ke Baad" and "Paalki Mein Hoke Sawaar Chali Re." Allah Rakkhha Rahman is Ms. Yagnik's best composer and she will touch your soul with her revolutionary rendition. The cello is the third star of this number (hence the above paragraph) and it haunts you with its Godliness. I legit listen to "Tu Muskura" at least three times a day. 10/10.

Also is worth mentioning is the fact that this is the first time Ms. Yagnik will be singing for Ms. Kaif. I always like to point out the debut of a certain playback singer as the voice of an actress. Like when Sunidhi Chauhan first sang for both Kajol and Madhuri Dixit (Fanaa, Aaja Nachle respectively), it was note-worthy because here you have a modern singer, used to singing for struggling actresses who think their big break is starring in "Mind-Blowing Maahiya" and she's singing for two old-school, mature, successful, gorgeous women (let's be real here, they're cougars). It's quite awesome, I will not lie. Same goes for the Yagnik/Kaif pairing. A great match!

After "Tu Muskura," the next song is called "Mastam Mastam." This song has some of the most original music in Rahman's repetoire, yes, even beating "Shakalaka Baby" and "Meherbaan, Meherbaan". The music is festive, giving an Indian rhythm and melody a European twang. Sung very well by Nigam, Yagnik, Benny Dayal (from "Tu Hi Toh Meri Dost Hai") and Naresh. This song, though long, is absolutely enjoyable. 8.5/10.

"Zindagi" comes next and it is a very thoughtful, soulful number. Even though "Dost" and "Tu Muskura" are my favorites from the score, this song has a special place in my heart because I never seem to expect it (thanks to being sandwiched by two lavish numbers). It's quiet, hummable, and very 2nd level Koreatown (under-the-radar). Srinivas's performance is stellar. And Gulzar's lyrics are poignant. Rahman at his best. 9.5/10.

The next song is "Dil Ka Rishta" and it tells of an amnesiac who falls in love with the man who accidentally killed her husband in the same drunken accident that took her memory. Oh, no, wait, that's the drama that both starred and was produced by Aishwarya Rai Bachchan! Sorry, sorry, sorry. The song is a grand, passionate song that includes Sonu Nigam, in a full throated performance, Roop Kumar Rathod, Rahman, Clinton Cerejo (husband or brother to Dominique Cerejo, singer of "Yeh, Tumhaar-Meri Baatein" from Rock On!!), Suzanne D'Mello and, of course, Vivenne Pocha. Nigam and Rathod are the main singers, and everyone else provides stellar background vocals. However, the lyrics and the music are little over-the-top. They're just too...whiny? It'll probably look better on screen. 7/10.

"Mannmohini Morey" is next and this is a very short, classical number. Vijay Prakash provides some stellar, stellar, exceptional classical singing. Rahman uses Indian classical music for the first time as a major player in the song and this song is fantastic. Gulzar's lyrics are again excellent. 8/10.

Finally, the album ends with a remix of "Shano, Shano." It doesn' have anything new to offer, just like the "Pappu Can't Dance" remix. Rahman, sir, remixes are not your forte! 5/10.

I highly, highly, highly suggest you find the Yuvvraaj score and listen to it all the time like I do. If anything, download "Tu Muskura," "Zindagi" and "Tu Hi Toh Meri Dost Hai." Allah Rakkhha Rahman is the best composer of Bollywood and he never ceases to amaze, bewilder and touch us. Yuvvraaj rates a 64/80.

An Open Letter to Priyanka Chopra

Dearest Priyanka Chopra,

I respect you as an actress. You take your craft seriously and yet you have fun with it. Ever since you won the battle between yourself and Lara Dutta with the masterly Aitraaz, you earned your place as a serious actress and each of your performances after that made sure you kept that place.

So what, in God's name, are you doing in Drona? You already did the superhero gig before in Krrish and you were the best thing about that production, too (fortunately for you, Jadoo was mysteriously missing otherwise he would have upstaged you--no offense). What inspired you to sign your soul away to this Goldie Behl-directed mess? Come on, Piggy Chops, this is kind of role made for lesser heroines like the aforementioned Lara or Isha Koppikar (oh, yeah, Isha was probs busy with her Rajshri film--what's that about?). Was it the chance to flex your muscles and fight some villains again after Don and after being snubbed of such glory in Krrish? If that was the case, then I forgive you. No other actress in our generation is an action heroine (well, except for the Shilpsters--omg, you two should do an action movie together!)

You should have known that Drona would be a lame pile of...bhegan ka bhartha when you saw Abhishek Bachchan as the lead character. Abhishek, who looks no more like a superhero than Turtle, is a flop of an actor. Okay, I had my days where I thought he was the cat's meow. But those were the Golden Age of Abhishek, c. 2004-2006 (KANK, Bluffmaster, Kuch Naa Kaho, Guru, Sarkar, Dhoom series). But after this time period, Baby Bachchan just became a loser. I can't point out just how I suddenly started hating him. I know JBJ was a factor...maybe it was when he married Ash? Yes, that's it. Believe me, 'Yankers, I'm not jealous. I'm just annoyed that he could dare marry someone so far above his level of attractiveness. Clearly, Ash needs to be with someone with an equal amount of sex appeal (coughhrithikroshancoughcough). Seeing you (looks and talent) with him (no looks, no talent), my dear Ms. Chopra, is like seeing Patrick Wilson with...with...well, anyone since he is on a different plane altogether.

I can tell you, sugar cakes, that whenever you were not onscreen, I was B-O-R-E-D out of my mind! The story was just not engaging. The story of a neglected and taunted orphan finding out that he is, indeed, part of something greater than his yesterday seems a little Rowlingish...and a little like every story written in the history of orphanic literature. What makes the Harry Potter series different is that it has enough of a personality to support its cliches and enough originality to keep it running for seven novels and eight films. Drona has none of that, however.

Okay, forget the orphan part of the movie. Even the main plot is dry and uninspired. Aditya, played superbly awful by Baby Bachchan, has to find the immortal nectar before magician/demon Riz Raizada does. Raizada is played by KK Menon, an actor I used to respect before I realized that he is just as attention-grabbing as Abhishek. Everything about his performance is "look-at-me" which is an acting crime you don't commit, Priyanka, I swear to you.

Even when Jaya Bachchan is onscreen, in a cameo as Aditya's real mother, I longed for your prescence. Though it's always nice to see Mrs. B in a film, sometimes I wish she had retired way back in 2003 after her glorious turn as Jenny in KHNH. One thing I didn't understand is Jaya plays a queen but of what? Of India? Narnia? Also, the scene where she is turned to stone is actually funny because she watches the grey smoke stuff coming toward her from Riz Raizada but doesn't move. Also is funny how Aditya insta-grows affection for his mother after knowing her for all of two hours. Looove it! While you can pull off McDonalds style love (fast), and you do in this film, the Bachchans are not so lucky.

Now, I know that you had nothing to do with this music. But I have to tell you: the music is just awful. Barring Oop Oop Cha, which at least has an interesting beat and video, the other songs are such snooze-fests! The love song, for which I imagined a very-stylized video, shows the two of you riding on a horse. Romantic. And that song, which is kind of nice but a little boring, is cut to just the chorus. But all the other songs are played in full and they go on and on and on and on!

If I had to pick some positives for Drona, it'd have to be costumes (specifically yours) and your fights. You are a such a rock star, Piggy Chops, I hate to see you wasting away in thankless roles like this. You deserve better than a movie where the best song is called Oop Oop Cha. Drona, my chicken dumpling, gets a 3.5/10 and all three and a half of those points go to you.

Oh, God, tussi great ho, Priyanka Chopra. Pick films that deserve to have you in their cast.

Much love and support,
Manish M. Mathur

By George, I think she's got it!

She = Prachi Desai.

It = Real talent.

I had begun to despise newcomers. Useless nobodies, these were, whose only claim to fame was sharing the same blood of someone rich enough to finance a film that was sure to be disasterous. These newcomers appeared in movies with plots that produced tears (and not the tears of an effective drama). I can think of only three newcomers who have some promise in the last year: Ranbir Kapoor, Sonam Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. Without any talented newcomers, Bollywood is sure to die out. (I mean, eventually Ash will have kids, Preity will go on to play cricket, Rani will realize she is too cool for the parts she's getting and SRK has to die some day or another)

Well, all of that is about to change with the debut of a Miss Prachi Desai in Rock On!!, who is a breath of fresh air. Without Prachi Desai's presence, this film would have faltered. She overshines all four of the lead actors, who try their best to be their best (and they succeed). But, alas, Prachi is such a powerhouse of talent that their efforts, though noble and noteworthy, are to no avail. Rock On!! is Prachi, Prachi, Prachi, Prachi, Prachi and Prachi.

Starring director Farhan Akhtar, Arjun Rampal, Prachsters, Purab Kohli, Luke Kenny, Koel Purie and Suhana Goswami, the film is directed by Abhishek Kapoor who gave us that immortal classic Aryan - the Unbreakable. Music is by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy with lyrics by Javed Akhtar. Let me tell you now: the music is much, much more enjoyable in the film than on the CD except for one (more on that later).

Aditya (Akhtar), Joe (Rampal), KD (Kohli) and Rob (Kenny) are in a rock band called Magik. They were quite successful in their day, winning a competition and thus getting a record contract. Years later, Aditya is married to Sakshi (Prachi Desai) and is a cold investment banker. Sakshi is unhappy because Aditya is unhappy but won't tell her why. Joe is still struggling to get jobs as a musician, refusing to play for weddings because it is beneath him. His wife, Debbie (Goswami) is struggling to make ends meet with a fish business and needs Joe to get over his pride. KD (the artist formerly known as Killer Drummer) works for his father at a jewelry shop. Rob is the only one still making music, as he arranges music for Anu Malik. A chance meeting between KD, Sakshi and Sakshi's BFF Devika (Purie) and the discovery of some photos from Aditya's past piques Saksters' interest and she wants to reunite Magik. It is revealed through flashbacks exactly why Magik broke up. How they come back together for one more concert forms the rest of this tale of music, dreams, adulthood and friendship.

Farhan Akhtar, as Adi, is absolutely terrific. He may have directed only one solidly good film (DCH), but his real talent is acting and I think that is where he should stay. Arjun Rampal corrects all of the mistakes of his past. FINALLY, the Arjun we saw in Moksha has risen from the dead!

Luke Kenny and Purab Kohli are good but not much is required. Kohli says all of his lines with a smug attitude which gets annoying. Luke Kenny doesn't do much until a subplot comes for him late in the game. It is too little, too late and the effectiveness is just not there anymore.

Suhana Goswami doesn't let the nagging get obnoxious. Debbie in the past and Debbie in the present are played differently and expertly. Koel Purie plays that character who is there only to tell another character just what he/she needs to hear. Koel Purie, however, is always pleasant to watch and her character is fun.

Prachi Desai is basically the queen of the universe. Not only is she shockingly classy and subtly gorgeous, but her acting is just slap-you-on-the-cheek effective. She delivers lines sharply, her eyes pierce you like a clerk at Claire's. I love the way she dresses her hair, where she places it all to one side, on her shoulder, near her heart. (Unfortunately, IndiaFM has but one picture of Prachsters, none of the cool hairstyle.) It is such an amazing look. If you think about it, Saksters is the backbone of Rock On!!. Even though she isn't around much in the second half, she lights up the screen and acts confidently. The pre-intermission climax is of what dreams are made. I swear, as God as my witness (lol Scarlett O'Hara), if Prachi doesn't become the next Big Thing in Bollywood, I will quit Bollywood. Now, I don't see Prachsters becoming popular with the masses like Lara Dutta. No, she'll be more of a Konkona Sensharma, popular with the arthouse crowd. To think, Prachi got her start on the serial Kasamh Se (as Baani). Who knew those lame soaps could produce such talent? Forget Magik. The real rock star of Rock On!! is Prachi Desai.

For being a film about a rock band, Rock On!! doesn't have very good music. Most of the songs are standard rock music affair. Perhaps I don't like them because I'm not into that style of music. The one song you will take home with you is Yeh, Tumhaari Meri Baatein sung masterly by Dominique Cerejo. The song is simple, with thoughtful lyrics about continuing love. Ms. Cerejo provides a whispery rendition until she finds her own, as I like to call it, about two minutes and fifty-two seconds into the song. She delivers a glorious vocal performance, by thrusting her whole heart into it. She sings strongly but not loudly, keeping in mind the mellow feel of the song. The song's video is very beautiful, with those loving looks between lovers, those montages of happy times. The song is so close to perfection. I will not hesitate to say it is one of the best of the year.

I can say that about the film itself. Rock On!! is such a strong film. Words cannot even begin to describe the effect it has on the viewer. Of its many trailers, only the Y,TMB promo showed much promise. I am surprised at how good this film was. But, who doesn't love a good sleeper hit? Well, anyway, here's to hoping the name Sakshi gets a glorious resurrection. (Sunaina, Shikha and...Sakshi? Me gustan.) Rock On!! rates an 8.5/10.

PS - The latest craze at Fordham is the Prachi Desai Dance. You put your hands into a fist and robottically make, like, a stabbing motion while bopping your torso and your knees. You chant, also robottically, "Prachi Desai, Prachi Desai, Prachi Desai." Everyone was doing it on their way home from the Imaginasian.

So, Twinkle, I'd like you to meet Salman...

If I had to choose the one reason why Singh is Kinng is a must-see movie, it would undoubtedly be the livinng and breathinng chemistry between stars Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif. These two work very, very hard to create this chemistry but it looks effortless on screen. They are a natural pair; the glow of the fire of their romantic tension lights the screen, even more than Ben Nott's stunninng cinematography.

SiK is directed by Anees Bazmee, whose last two films (Welcome and No Entry) were huge blockbusters. He made, however, a lot of other films (Deewangee, Pyaar toh Hona hi Tha - moderate successes; Sandwich, Hulchul, Benaam - whaaaaat?). Aside from Jodi #1, SiK boasts of a cast of good comedians: Kirron Kher, Om Puri, Ranvir Shorey, Javed Jaffrey and Neha Dhupia (no, seriously!) with Sonu Sood, Yashpal Sharma, Manoj Palwa and Sudanshu Pandey in side roles. Music is by Pritam and the lyrics are by Mayur Puri.

Lucky Singh (Sonu Sood) is the most-feared Don of Sydney. The police fears him more than Bollywood fears piracy or so says Julie (Dhupia). Along with Julie, Lucky is followed by a bunch of quirky henchmen (Sharma, Palwa, Jaffrey, Pandey). Meanwhile, in Punjab, Happy Singh (Kumar) is oft-accused of causinng more havoc than good when his attempts to help his friends go hopelessly wrong. In order to get out of the village, Rangeela (Om Puri) convinces the village to send Happy to Sydney to convince Lucky to come back. Rangeela is forced to go with him, much to Rangeela's chagrin. Somehow, the duo mistakenly take the flight to Egypt. Happy then meets and falls in love with Sohniya (Kaif), a criminologist doinng some research for her book in Cairo. Don't ask me why. When Happy and Rangeela finally reach Sydney, they are thrown out of Lucky's house. Happy meets Rose Lady (Kher, who is never given a proper name in the film--IMDB calls her Rose Lady...um...) whom he sees as a mother figure. Lucky is paralyzed after an attack and Happy is mistakenly named his successor. How Sohniya's return to Happy's life with fiancee Puneet (Shorey) and his new found role as Kinng of Sydney collide form the rest of this comedy.

As with Welcs, the first half is nearly all just settinng up the characters before the explosive second half. Like Welcs, this film involves people puttinng on a ruse for the betterment of others. This film too shows criminals and hooligans seeinng goodness for the first time. It is a beautiful thinng, watchinng redemption. No Entry was a very mean-spirited comedy, it relished in betrayal and infidelity. SiK is very Munna Bhai-esque, balancinng the comedy with emotional sequences such as the Hot Dog Vendor or the Blind Girl's Eye Surgery (not Zooni). These moments are effective and yes, I did tear up.

Musically, SiK has a very bouncy soundtrack. The score is such that you cannot help but dance along. Bhootni Ke is enjoyable only after you translate the Punjabi. Jee Karda is God's gift to the world. SiK got 10 plus points whenever Katrina made a reference to her "ladies" or "girls" (all my ladies goinng crazy with the rhythm...). Yesterday, I counted 5 times so 50 plus points! The choreography is just almost a non-choreography. Nope, none of that pretentiously intricate dances is here! Bas Ek Kinng is servicable in the picture, but you won't find it on anyone's Top 25 Most Played list. Talli Hua is much better in the film, usinng a hilarious duet version. The video is very amusinng. Teri Ore is my second favorite song. Though I pictured it in the fields of Amritsar, this video is very symbolic since Sohniys and Happy met in Egypt. The Snoop Dogg version of the title song is a complete waste of time.

Akshay Kumar, to no one's surprise, delivers a fine performance. His comedic timinng and his dramatic actinng are both top-notch. Katrina Kaif is slowly becominng more comfortable in front of the camera and with her Hindi. All she needs now is that perfect dramatic part that will solidify her role in the industry. Kirron Kher is excellent as usual, but I wish she had more chance to be as funny as usual. Of the supportinng cast, only Neha Dhupia stands out. She's surprisingly really funny and her quickness at pulling out a gun is quite remarkable. Everyone else performs fine except Javed Jaffrey, who is irritatinng.

If I had to pick a flaw, it'd be the choppy editinng that was present in Welcs also. I find it, however, endearinng not irritatinng.

I'd reccomend SiK to anyone. It's a truly "happy" film. Havinng seen it, however, I realized that I have two goals in life.
1. Become friends with one of Katrina's "ladies" and infiltrate the group. Lol.

2. Replace Salman with Akshay and Twinkle with Katrina.
Annnnnnnnd.......GO.

Singh is Kinng rates 8/10.

Shahid & Vidya: Together again (for the first time)

Kismat Konnection makes it official! Shahid Kapoor and Vidya Balan are the 21st century kounterparts to Shah Rukh Khan and Juhi Chawla. Shahid Kapoor has the disarming charm of King Khan, a quality that makes you love him from the outset. Vidya Balan is bubbly and sweet like Juhi Chawla, with the talent to match. I never thought of these two as a pair. They seem to fit with any ko-star (Amrita, Kareena, Ayesha for Shahid; Saif, Akshay, Shiney, John for Vidya) but now that they're together it seems like the most natural thing in the world. And who better to bring King Kapoor and...uh... Vidya (does Juhi have a nickname?) than SRK-Juhi's best direktor Aziz Mirza, known for such hits like Yes Boss, Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman, Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani, Chalte Chalte and who kould forget the most important film of all time Circus? Pritam gives the skore of Kismat Konnection and the lyriks are by Sayeed Quadri and Shabbir Ahmed. It's safe to say that this album is one of the best of 2008 (kalling it the best might be a little radikal).

There are 5 songs, each with their own remix and an alternate version for one. With eleven songs, this skore might seem like a tedious journey. It's not.

Aai Pappi (Tu Hai Meri Sohniye) is the opening number and it's destined to be the next big song of the summer. Neeraj Shridar sings this robustly, giving the "aai pappi" line that addiktive quality that guarantees its hit status. Pritam's musik is stellar, using trumpets quite well. Lyriks are oridinary but fun. Even though this will be the most popular song, it certainly isn't the best. 10/10.

Atif Aslam returns to sing another one of Pritam's tunes and Bakhuda Tumhi Ho is just as good, if not better, than the rest. This time he is paired with Alka Yagnik. Like Vidya and Shahid, this pair seemed to be of different worlds but now that they're together, what took them so long? Singing is exceptional, of kourse. Lyriks are sublime and the musik is divine. Glorious! 10/10.

Move Your Body Now is a dance number. It's simple and fun and I really like Pritam's arrangements. The song is zingy and it's lyriks are silly (kudi, tu lagti hai naughty). The singers, Shaan, Akriti Kakkar, Suheil and Hard Kaur again, provide this number that extra boot. Another winner! 10/10.

Is This Love? (Kahin Na Laage) is a sweet love song, sung by Mohit Chauhan and Shreya Goshal. It's not as sweeping as Bakudha, it has a more pop sound. Shreya Goshal, with the limited audio time she has, is just too, too good in her part. Mohit Chauhan is basically a rock star with his rendition. I kan't decide if the lyriks are originally old-fashioned or trite but who cares? 10/10.

The last original song is Sohniye Ve (Dhak, Dhak, Dhak). Sung expertly by Sonu Nigam and Sunidhi Chauhan, this song isn't original but sounds really familiar. It reminds me of Salman Khan and Priyanka Chopra for some reason... It has a Punjabi flavor which was the only thing missing from this album. Do I like it? Yes. But it kould have been as good as Nagada Nagada Nagada Bajaa. 8/10.

A repeat of Move Your Body Now is offered. The only difference is that Adeel replaces Shaan and Suheil from the first version. I prefer the first one. Don't bother even downloading this one. 5/10.

I won't go into detail about the remixes. I usually don't like remixes - I rarely download them - but, because this projekt is so near and dear to my heart, I decided to. I kan say I wasn't disappointed.

Aai Pappi - 10/10.

Bakudha Tumhi Ho - 10/10.

Move Your Body Now - 9/10

Is This Love? - 8/10.
Sohniye Ve - 8/10.

Most definitely, this album is worth a buy or a download session. I kan say that this film is one to watch out for: the direktor is a genius, the lead pair is a good one and the soundtrack is rocking and smashing and glorious and marvelous. So, go ahead and test your kismat with Kismat Konnection. 98/110 or A-.

PS - the K in the title is not for numerological reasons but for one artisitc one: alliteration. The title was going to be Lucky Charm but I'm glad it's not because then I would have no reason to replace Cs with Ks throughout my review.