Get Your "Fash" On!

Priyanka Chopra has been releasing a slew of movies that display none of her talent, save for her fighting skills (God Tussi Great Ho, Chamku, Love Story 2050, Drona). But, finally--finally!--we get to see the Piggy Chops we saw in Aitraaz and Aap Ki Khatir and Bluffmaster and Salaam-e-Ishq.

Fashion is directed by Madhur Bhandakar, best known for his gritty exposes on different parts of Indian life. Three of his most popular films also served as a vehicle for a certain actress: Chandni Bar for Tabu; Page 3 for Konkona Sensharma; and Corporate for Bipasha Basu. Corporate and Page 3 had the opposite effect: Page 3 turned an actress into a star and Corporate turned a star into an actress. Bhandarkar does the same favor he did for those girls for Priyanka Chopra. Supported by Kangana Ranaut, newcomer Mughda Godse, Arbaaz Khan, Samir Soni, Ashwin Mushran, Kitu Godwani and Arjan Bajwa, Chopra confidently leads this cast and the viewer is in a for a bumpy ride.

The story begins on Wall Street where Meghna Mathur toils daily. She lives on the Upper East Side where she is only a central park away from her favorite cousin, who lives on the Upper West Side...WAIT. Wrong Meghna Mathur...The Meghna Mathur in FashFash is played by Priyanka Chopra. This Meghna lives in Chandigarh and dreams of being a big model. Against her parents' wishes, she moves to Bombay and meets up with designer Rahul (Soni). He introduces her to Anisha Roy (Godwani) who scores her a contract with Panache, headed by Abhijeet Sarin (Khan). She starts dating Manav (Bajwa), a struggling model. As Meghna climbs the ladder of success, supermodel Shonali (Ranaut) is on the decline with an abusive boyfriend, a drug addiction and a bad reputation at fashion show rehearsals. Janet (Godse), another struggling model, marries Rohit (Mushran), who is a gay designer pressured to get married by his family. Theirs is a marriage of convenience. Slowly, Meghna's success gets to her head and she reaches to the top of modeling world. How Meghna slowly falls until she hits rock bottom and has to redeem herself forms this tale of greed, ambition, glory and, of course, the world of FASHION.

This movie brings together two of my many passions: Priyanka Chopra and high-end fashion. Ah, yes, nothing makes me happier than looking at outfits that are so ugly and unwearable yet ridiculously overpriced and overdesired. It makes me feel better about my own clothing choices (thanks Hennes & Mauritz!). I guess I never figured that India would have their own Oscar de la Renta or Donna Karan, though now that seems obvious. I can't help but wonder: does each designer or label have a counterpart in another country? I have to say that the clothes in the movie are abso fabulous. I liked Priyanka's second fashion show the best, the one with the Thai-styled Indian clothing.

The fashion of Fashion aside, this movie really belongs to Priyanka, though there are no surprises there. Bhandakar really knows how to exact a strong performance from his lead. The reason why his films work is that he makes character studies fooling themselves into thinking they're industry studies. I'll be a little more clear: Fashion thinks it's an expose on the world of fashion, and to an extent it is, but in reality we are seeing the world of fashion as experienced by Meghna Mathur. It's more how she deals with the obstacles and victories than how it deals with her.

I wrote a poem describing my thoughts on Priyanka's performance. "Nindiyaan se jaagi Priyanka/Aisa acting dekha pehli baar (in 2008)." Yes, 2008 has not been a great year for Piggy Chops and that's okay...every great actress has that period where she is underused (or whole careers in Raima Sen's case). But the important thing is, like every great actress, she bounced back with a thunderous, full-bodied performance. Ms. Chopra gloriously embodies Meghna Mathur and just everything about her performance is stellar. As God as my witness (lol Scarlett O'Hara), I promise you Priyanka will be not ignored come awards season.

The other performances are not so stellar. Samir Soni is a riot as a stereotypically gay designer/confidant. "Spare me the horror" is his catchphrase which is hilarious! Mughda Godse is indeed God se since she gives the best performance of the supporting cast. Hers and Ashwin Mushran's subplot gives some heart to the proceedings. He also gives a natural performance. Kitu Godwani and Arjan Baswa are fine. Baswa shines in the breakup scene and Godwani gets points for being named Anisha. Arbaaz Khan is strictly okay. Was that Kashmira Shah playing his wife? Kashmira Shah...man, oh, man.

This brings me to Kangana Ranaut. Her career is filled with strong performances of women who are really falooda'd up: Gangster, Woh Lamhe, Life in a... Metro, Shakalaka Boom Boom). And she is a good actress. But her dialogue delivery negates everything good about the physicality of her acting. If she could just play a mute, everything would be good. Her body language is stellar but the language coming out of her mouth is not.

The music fits the fashion theme, with beats that suit the runway. You don't really take the songs home with you, though. But that's been true for all of Bhandakar's films. Except for "O Sikandhar" from Corporate. That was a fantastic qawaali...

Also, the writer is stalking our family (there was a Meghna, an Anisha, a Riya, my namesake, and Isaac Mizrahi's alter ego, Manish Malhotra did a cameo). Priyanka Chopra and the fashion of Fashion are the real stars. If you don't care about fashion, see it for Priyanka. If you don't care about Priyanka, see it for the fashion. If you don't care about either, see it anyway since it is an exceptionally well-made film. Fashion rates an 8.5/10.

PS - Konkona Sensharma and Ranvir Shorey have a surprisingly good cameo. Get those two in a movie RIGHT NOW.

And Boom Goes the Dynamite

I have unfinished reviews for the soundtracks of Dostana and Yuvvraaj and I will get those done but this is more pressing. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is SRK's new film, directed by the man who made the classic DDLJ and the only slightly inferior Mohabbatein, Aditya Chopra. Yes, AdiChops is bringing us a third directorial venture no less than eight years later. I was excited for it. I'm not SRK's biggest fan but I do like him in his element and not as a firefighter/construction worker. The female lead was supposed to be the lovely Sonam Kapoor but she was replaced by newcomer Anushka Sharma, who is now celebrating her graduation from middle school. Just kidding but she is younger than I am. Music is by Salim-Sulaiman by whom the Chopras swear but I don't know why. Their music is average and must be lifted by the visuals or choreographer Vaibhavi Merchant (by whom I swear). The lyrics are by Jaideep Sahni.

The first track is "Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai" and the title itself is boring. I guess I can be found guilty of referring to celebrities as heavenly beings. But this unbearable song is one of those love songs where the guy lathers praise on the girl and assigns her to be his everything (no pressure). S-S give this song standard dholak/flute music. Roop Kumar Rathod sounds listless. What bothers me is that Mahalakshmi Iyer does some background vocals and she's not even credited! Not a good opening. 5/10.

The next song is perhaps the most interesting of them all. "Haule Haule" features Sukhwinder Singh singing about how slowly he's falling in love. To say that this is the best of RNBDJ isn't saying much. Yet again we have a male solo dedicated to praising Ms. Sharma. What of her perspective? S-S provide music that's at least of this decade, the lyrics are semi-fresh but Singh's rendition did what Rathod should have done in the previous track--have emotion whilst singing. (It's not that hard Roop!) "Haule Haule" rates an 8/10.

Dearest readers, this next song is SO BAD that I would gladly listen to a disaster called "Oop Oop Cha" anytime than listen to "Dance Pe Chance". This Sunidhi Chauhan solo is so banal, I can't even comprehend the lyrics. Or the idea behind it. SRK finally plays his age so maybe the pubescent Anushka Sharma is trying to show him how to be hip with this clubby dance track from 2004. Also annoying is that Labh Janjua ("Pyaar Karke Pachtaaya" from Pyaar Ke Side/Effects) gets a singing credit. Is this a duet? No! He does background. "Dance Pe Chance" is the worst song of the year. 3/10. I love you, Sunidhi.

"Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte" is a Sonu Nigam solo and only he can stop you from hitting the skip! button. The lyrics of this song are literally a mishmash of lines from older songs. It's not a remix, just an original composition (still not from this year) with lyrics from such classics as "Badan Pe Sitaarein Lapete Hue" or "Dard-e-Dil, Dard-e-Jigar" or "Jai Jai Shiv Shankar". Just because it might be better on screen, I'll give this one a 5/10.

Shreya Goshal delivers a reprise of "Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai" and it is no more interesting than Roop Kumar Rathod's rendition. Finally, though, Anushka Sharma's character gets some song-acting to do. For that reason and for Shreya's earnest rendition, this two minute number gets a 5.5/10.

The last song on this album (did I age 3 years? No, it just felt like it) is an instrumental remix of all the songs. This one at least holds your attention. 5.5/10.

This album is a sorry comeback for as great a director as AdiChops. Maybe he's lost his touch or maybe his touch is just what this album needs. I'm sure we'll all be swept away by SRK's charm and the compelling love story RNBDJ will turn out to be. But at this point in my life, I'm just looking for some DDLJ mp3s. The album gets a 33/60. Best song: "Haule Haule" but download "Dance Pe Chance" also just for kicks.

PS - I couldn't even listen to songs while writing the review. Don't worry, I sat through it 2.5 times today.

Suddenly, Last October

Allah Rakkhha Rahman surely has some divine force in him to create such earth-shatteringly innovative musical pieces. And everytime he releases a new soundtrack you think, "Wow, he reached his limit and has no more to offer us. He has exhausted his given gift." I mean, his first score was Roja, way back in 1992. Sixteen years of creativitity has to take a toll on a man. I thought he reached that limit with his masterly Jodhaa Akbar, an iconic landmark in musical history, perfectly blending the musical stylings of the era while making them relatable to the 21st century. Yes, Rahman made Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na in between JA and now but that only only boasted of three songs which had traces of the Rahman of yore ("Kabhi Kabhi Aditi," "Jaane Tu Mera Kya Hai (Aditi)" and, of course, "Pappu Can't Dance").

Then suddenly, last October, the score for a little Indo-European musical opus called Yuvvraaj was released (onto CoolToad). This is a film directed by Subash Ghai and it promised to return him to his roots after 2.5 disasters. (The degree of Black & White's failure is debatable). Also, it boasted of a star cast that only Ghai could bring together: Anil Kapoor (aka me in 25 years), Salman Khan, Boman Irani, Zayed Khan and newcomerAushima Sawhney. Don't you worry, she's not the main female lead. Katrina Kaif, who plays a cellist named Anushka in the film, finally gets that big dramatic role that will take her from glamour girl to serious actress. The lyrics are by Gulzar, who delights us with his stunning poetry.

The album opener is called "Main Hoon Yuvvraaj." No, it's not a title song. It's a dialogue track with Sallu explaining his character, accompanied by Beethoven's Symphony No. 5. Salman is impressive enough and the choice of music fits well with this Western style musical. I'm not going to rate this track.

The first real song is called "Tu Hi Toh Meri Dost Hai" and it is spectacular. This simple love song is filled with complex melodies and inspiriing lyrics. Relative newcomer Benny Dayal starts off the song strongly but it is Shreya Goshal's entrance in the first verse that steals the show. In her second outing with Rahman ("Barso Re") Shreya knocks you out with her mesmerising vocals. Love it! 10/10.

The next song is "Shano, Shano" and it is unimpressive. Every Rahman score has that one song that just isn't up to par with the rest ("Mann Mohana," "Mere Dil Ka Woh Shehezaada," "Jhoombalika, Jhoombalika") and this is that song. The lyrics are just plain out dumb--no offense, Gulzar! Rahman's tradition of using new singers and veterans is upheld here. "Shano, Shano" is sung by Sonu Nigam, Srinivas, Karthik, Timmy, Sunaida, Vivienne Pocha and Tina of which I only know the first three. Rahman uses some interesting arrangements for this dance track but it has the misfortune of being sandwiched between two stellar tracks. 6/10.

Katrina Kaif is hands down the most beautiful woman in Bollywood (sorry, Amrita Singh) and there is just something enchanting about the image of her playing the cello. Actually, there's a funny story as to why I think this. Rahman himself in an interview with IndiaFM said, "The sight of a beautiful girl playing an instrument like the cello seems like an overwhelming visual. It's really nice." Having read this, I looked at all the Yuvvraaj pictures with Katrina at the cello and became obsessed with the image. If this movie is as spectacular as it promises, Katrina at the Cello will be as iconic an image as Akshay-Raveena in "Tu Cheez," the James Bond Gun Barrel sequence or Carrie in her tutu.

All of this leads to "Tu Muskura," the very same song for which Rahman fans have been asking endlessly. Sung effortlessly and sensually by Alka Yagnik and Javed Ali, this song has a perfect composition and astounding lyrics. Alka Yagnik can add this to her Hits Of list along with "Yeh Silsila Hai Pyaar Ka," "Barso Ke Baad" and "Paalki Mein Hoke Sawaar Chali Re." Allah Rakkhha Rahman is Ms. Yagnik's best composer and she will touch your soul with her revolutionary rendition. The cello is the third star of this number (hence the above paragraph) and it haunts you with its Godliness. I legit listen to "Tu Muskura" at least three times a day. 10/10.

Also is worth mentioning is the fact that this is the first time Ms. Yagnik will be singing for Ms. Kaif. I always like to point out the debut of a certain playback singer as the voice of an actress. Like when Sunidhi Chauhan first sang for both Kajol and Madhuri Dixit (Fanaa, Aaja Nachle respectively), it was note-worthy because here you have a modern singer, used to singing for struggling actresses who think their big break is starring in "Mind-Blowing Maahiya" and she's singing for two old-school, mature, successful, gorgeous women (let's be real here, they're cougars). It's quite awesome, I will not lie. Same goes for the Yagnik/Kaif pairing. A great match!

After "Tu Muskura," the next song is called "Mastam Mastam." This song has some of the most original music in Rahman's repetoire, yes, even beating "Shakalaka Baby" and "Meherbaan, Meherbaan". The music is festive, giving an Indian rhythm and melody a European twang. Sung very well by Nigam, Yagnik, Benny Dayal (from "Tu Hi Toh Meri Dost Hai") and Naresh. This song, though long, is absolutely enjoyable. 8.5/10.

"Zindagi" comes next and it is a very thoughtful, soulful number. Even though "Dost" and "Tu Muskura" are my favorites from the score, this song has a special place in my heart because I never seem to expect it (thanks to being sandwiched by two lavish numbers). It's quiet, hummable, and very 2nd level Koreatown (under-the-radar). Srinivas's performance is stellar. And Gulzar's lyrics are poignant. Rahman at his best. 9.5/10.

The next song is "Dil Ka Rishta" and it tells of an amnesiac who falls in love with the man who accidentally killed her husband in the same drunken accident that took her memory. Oh, no, wait, that's the drama that both starred and was produced by Aishwarya Rai Bachchan! Sorry, sorry, sorry. The song is a grand, passionate song that includes Sonu Nigam, in a full throated performance, Roop Kumar Rathod, Rahman, Clinton Cerejo (husband or brother to Dominique Cerejo, singer of "Yeh, Tumhaar-Meri Baatein" from Rock On!!), Suzanne D'Mello and, of course, Vivenne Pocha. Nigam and Rathod are the main singers, and everyone else provides stellar background vocals. However, the lyrics and the music are little over-the-top. They're just too...whiny? It'll probably look better on screen. 7/10.

"Mannmohini Morey" is next and this is a very short, classical number. Vijay Prakash provides some stellar, stellar, exceptional classical singing. Rahman uses Indian classical music for the first time as a major player in the song and this song is fantastic. Gulzar's lyrics are again excellent. 8/10.

Finally, the album ends with a remix of "Shano, Shano." It doesn' have anything new to offer, just like the "Pappu Can't Dance" remix. Rahman, sir, remixes are not your forte! 5/10.

I highly, highly, highly suggest you find the Yuvvraaj score and listen to it all the time like I do. If anything, download "Tu Muskura," "Zindagi" and "Tu Hi Toh Meri Dost Hai." Allah Rakkhha Rahman is the best composer of Bollywood and he never ceases to amaze, bewilder and touch us. Yuvvraaj rates a 64/80.