An Open Letter to Priyanka Chopra

Dearest Priyanka Chopra,

I respect you as an actress. You take your craft seriously and yet you have fun with it. Ever since you won the battle between yourself and Lara Dutta with the masterly Aitraaz, you earned your place as a serious actress and each of your performances after that made sure you kept that place.

So what, in God's name, are you doing in Drona? You already did the superhero gig before in Krrish and you were the best thing about that production, too (fortunately for you, Jadoo was mysteriously missing otherwise he would have upstaged you--no offense). What inspired you to sign your soul away to this Goldie Behl-directed mess? Come on, Piggy Chops, this is kind of role made for lesser heroines like the aforementioned Lara or Isha Koppikar (oh, yeah, Isha was probs busy with her Rajshri film--what's that about?). Was it the chance to flex your muscles and fight some villains again after Don and after being snubbed of such glory in Krrish? If that was the case, then I forgive you. No other actress in our generation is an action heroine (well, except for the Shilpsters--omg, you two should do an action movie together!)

You should have known that Drona would be a lame pile of...bhegan ka bhartha when you saw Abhishek Bachchan as the lead character. Abhishek, who looks no more like a superhero than Turtle, is a flop of an actor. Okay, I had my days where I thought he was the cat's meow. But those were the Golden Age of Abhishek, c. 2004-2006 (KANK, Bluffmaster, Kuch Naa Kaho, Guru, Sarkar, Dhoom series). But after this time period, Baby Bachchan just became a loser. I can't point out just how I suddenly started hating him. I know JBJ was a factor...maybe it was when he married Ash? Yes, that's it. Believe me, 'Yankers, I'm not jealous. I'm just annoyed that he could dare marry someone so far above his level of attractiveness. Clearly, Ash needs to be with someone with an equal amount of sex appeal (coughhrithikroshancoughcough). Seeing you (looks and talent) with him (no looks, no talent), my dear Ms. Chopra, is like seeing Patrick Wilson with...with...well, anyone since he is on a different plane altogether.

I can tell you, sugar cakes, that whenever you were not onscreen, I was B-O-R-E-D out of my mind! The story was just not engaging. The story of a neglected and taunted orphan finding out that he is, indeed, part of something greater than his yesterday seems a little Rowlingish...and a little like every story written in the history of orphanic literature. What makes the Harry Potter series different is that it has enough of a personality to support its cliches and enough originality to keep it running for seven novels and eight films. Drona has none of that, however.

Okay, forget the orphan part of the movie. Even the main plot is dry and uninspired. Aditya, played superbly awful by Baby Bachchan, has to find the immortal nectar before magician/demon Riz Raizada does. Raizada is played by KK Menon, an actor I used to respect before I realized that he is just as attention-grabbing as Abhishek. Everything about his performance is "look-at-me" which is an acting crime you don't commit, Priyanka, I swear to you.

Even when Jaya Bachchan is onscreen, in a cameo as Aditya's real mother, I longed for your prescence. Though it's always nice to see Mrs. B in a film, sometimes I wish she had retired way back in 2003 after her glorious turn as Jenny in KHNH. One thing I didn't understand is Jaya plays a queen but of what? Of India? Narnia? Also, the scene where she is turned to stone is actually funny because she watches the grey smoke stuff coming toward her from Riz Raizada but doesn't move. Also is funny how Aditya insta-grows affection for his mother after knowing her for all of two hours. Looove it! While you can pull off McDonalds style love (fast), and you do in this film, the Bachchans are not so lucky.

Now, I know that you had nothing to do with this music. But I have to tell you: the music is just awful. Barring Oop Oop Cha, which at least has an interesting beat and video, the other songs are such snooze-fests! The love song, for which I imagined a very-stylized video, shows the two of you riding on a horse. Romantic. And that song, which is kind of nice but a little boring, is cut to just the chorus. But all the other songs are played in full and they go on and on and on and on!

If I had to pick some positives for Drona, it'd have to be costumes (specifically yours) and your fights. You are a such a rock star, Piggy Chops, I hate to see you wasting away in thankless roles like this. You deserve better than a movie where the best song is called Oop Oop Cha. Drona, my chicken dumpling, gets a 3.5/10 and all three and a half of those points go to you.

Oh, God, tussi great ho, Priyanka Chopra. Pick films that deserve to have you in their cast.

Much love and support,
Manish M. Mathur

By George, I think she's got it!

She = Prachi Desai.

It = Real talent.

I had begun to despise newcomers. Useless nobodies, these were, whose only claim to fame was sharing the same blood of someone rich enough to finance a film that was sure to be disasterous. These newcomers appeared in movies with plots that produced tears (and not the tears of an effective drama). I can think of only three newcomers who have some promise in the last year: Ranbir Kapoor, Sonam Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. Without any talented newcomers, Bollywood is sure to die out. (I mean, eventually Ash will have kids, Preity will go on to play cricket, Rani will realize she is too cool for the parts she's getting and SRK has to die some day or another)

Well, all of that is about to change with the debut of a Miss Prachi Desai in Rock On!!, who is a breath of fresh air. Without Prachi Desai's presence, this film would have faltered. She overshines all four of the lead actors, who try their best to be their best (and they succeed). But, alas, Prachi is such a powerhouse of talent that their efforts, though noble and noteworthy, are to no avail. Rock On!! is Prachi, Prachi, Prachi, Prachi, Prachi and Prachi.

Starring director Farhan Akhtar, Arjun Rampal, Prachsters, Purab Kohli, Luke Kenny, Koel Purie and Suhana Goswami, the film is directed by Abhishek Kapoor who gave us that immortal classic Aryan - the Unbreakable. Music is by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy with lyrics by Javed Akhtar. Let me tell you now: the music is much, much more enjoyable in the film than on the CD except for one (more on that later).

Aditya (Akhtar), Joe (Rampal), KD (Kohli) and Rob (Kenny) are in a rock band called Magik. They were quite successful in their day, winning a competition and thus getting a record contract. Years later, Aditya is married to Sakshi (Prachi Desai) and is a cold investment banker. Sakshi is unhappy because Aditya is unhappy but won't tell her why. Joe is still struggling to get jobs as a musician, refusing to play for weddings because it is beneath him. His wife, Debbie (Goswami) is struggling to make ends meet with a fish business and needs Joe to get over his pride. KD (the artist formerly known as Killer Drummer) works for his father at a jewelry shop. Rob is the only one still making music, as he arranges music for Anu Malik. A chance meeting between KD, Sakshi and Sakshi's BFF Devika (Purie) and the discovery of some photos from Aditya's past piques Saksters' interest and she wants to reunite Magik. It is revealed through flashbacks exactly why Magik broke up. How they come back together for one more concert forms the rest of this tale of music, dreams, adulthood and friendship.

Farhan Akhtar, as Adi, is absolutely terrific. He may have directed only one solidly good film (DCH), but his real talent is acting and I think that is where he should stay. Arjun Rampal corrects all of the mistakes of his past. FINALLY, the Arjun we saw in Moksha has risen from the dead!

Luke Kenny and Purab Kohli are good but not much is required. Kohli says all of his lines with a smug attitude which gets annoying. Luke Kenny doesn't do much until a subplot comes for him late in the game. It is too little, too late and the effectiveness is just not there anymore.

Suhana Goswami doesn't let the nagging get obnoxious. Debbie in the past and Debbie in the present are played differently and expertly. Koel Purie plays that character who is there only to tell another character just what he/she needs to hear. Koel Purie, however, is always pleasant to watch and her character is fun.

Prachi Desai is basically the queen of the universe. Not only is she shockingly classy and subtly gorgeous, but her acting is just slap-you-on-the-cheek effective. She delivers lines sharply, her eyes pierce you like a clerk at Claire's. I love the way she dresses her hair, where she places it all to one side, on her shoulder, near her heart. (Unfortunately, IndiaFM has but one picture of Prachsters, none of the cool hairstyle.) It is such an amazing look. If you think about it, Saksters is the backbone of Rock On!!. Even though she isn't around much in the second half, she lights up the screen and acts confidently. The pre-intermission climax is of what dreams are made. I swear, as God as my witness (lol Scarlett O'Hara), if Prachi doesn't become the next Big Thing in Bollywood, I will quit Bollywood. Now, I don't see Prachsters becoming popular with the masses like Lara Dutta. No, she'll be more of a Konkona Sensharma, popular with the arthouse crowd. To think, Prachi got her start on the serial Kasamh Se (as Baani). Who knew those lame soaps could produce such talent? Forget Magik. The real rock star of Rock On!! is Prachi Desai.

For being a film about a rock band, Rock On!! doesn't have very good music. Most of the songs are standard rock music affair. Perhaps I don't like them because I'm not into that style of music. The one song you will take home with you is Yeh, Tumhaari Meri Baatein sung masterly by Dominique Cerejo. The song is simple, with thoughtful lyrics about continuing love. Ms. Cerejo provides a whispery rendition until she finds her own, as I like to call it, about two minutes and fifty-two seconds into the song. She delivers a glorious vocal performance, by thrusting her whole heart into it. She sings strongly but not loudly, keeping in mind the mellow feel of the song. The song's video is very beautiful, with those loving looks between lovers, those montages of happy times. The song is so close to perfection. I will not hesitate to say it is one of the best of the year.

I can say that about the film itself. Rock On!! is such a strong film. Words cannot even begin to describe the effect it has on the viewer. Of its many trailers, only the Y,TMB promo showed much promise. I am surprised at how good this film was. But, who doesn't love a good sleeper hit? Well, anyway, here's to hoping the name Sakshi gets a glorious resurrection. (Sunaina, Shikha and...Sakshi? Me gustan.) Rock On!! rates an 8.5/10.

PS - The latest craze at Fordham is the Prachi Desai Dance. You put your hands into a fist and robottically make, like, a stabbing motion while bopping your torso and your knees. You chant, also robottically, "Prachi Desai, Prachi Desai, Prachi Desai." Everyone was doing it on their way home from the Imaginasian.

So, Twinkle, I'd like you to meet Salman...

If I had to choose the one reason why Singh is Kinng is a must-see movie, it would undoubtedly be the livinng and breathinng chemistry between stars Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif. These two work very, very hard to create this chemistry but it looks effortless on screen. They are a natural pair; the glow of the fire of their romantic tension lights the screen, even more than Ben Nott's stunninng cinematography.

SiK is directed by Anees Bazmee, whose last two films (Welcome and No Entry) were huge blockbusters. He made, however, a lot of other films (Deewangee, Pyaar toh Hona hi Tha - moderate successes; Sandwich, Hulchul, Benaam - whaaaaat?). Aside from Jodi #1, SiK boasts of a cast of good comedians: Kirron Kher, Om Puri, Ranvir Shorey, Javed Jaffrey and Neha Dhupia (no, seriously!) with Sonu Sood, Yashpal Sharma, Manoj Palwa and Sudanshu Pandey in side roles. Music is by Pritam and the lyrics are by Mayur Puri.

Lucky Singh (Sonu Sood) is the most-feared Don of Sydney. The police fears him more than Bollywood fears piracy or so says Julie (Dhupia). Along with Julie, Lucky is followed by a bunch of quirky henchmen (Sharma, Palwa, Jaffrey, Pandey). Meanwhile, in Punjab, Happy Singh (Kumar) is oft-accused of causinng more havoc than good when his attempts to help his friends go hopelessly wrong. In order to get out of the village, Rangeela (Om Puri) convinces the village to send Happy to Sydney to convince Lucky to come back. Rangeela is forced to go with him, much to Rangeela's chagrin. Somehow, the duo mistakenly take the flight to Egypt. Happy then meets and falls in love with Sohniya (Kaif), a criminologist doinng some research for her book in Cairo. Don't ask me why. When Happy and Rangeela finally reach Sydney, they are thrown out of Lucky's house. Happy meets Rose Lady (Kher, who is never given a proper name in the film--IMDB calls her Rose Lady...um...) whom he sees as a mother figure. Lucky is paralyzed after an attack and Happy is mistakenly named his successor. How Sohniya's return to Happy's life with fiancee Puneet (Shorey) and his new found role as Kinng of Sydney collide form the rest of this comedy.

As with Welcs, the first half is nearly all just settinng up the characters before the explosive second half. Like Welcs, this film involves people puttinng on a ruse for the betterment of others. This film too shows criminals and hooligans seeinng goodness for the first time. It is a beautiful thinng, watchinng redemption. No Entry was a very mean-spirited comedy, it relished in betrayal and infidelity. SiK is very Munna Bhai-esque, balancinng the comedy with emotional sequences such as the Hot Dog Vendor or the Blind Girl's Eye Surgery (not Zooni). These moments are effective and yes, I did tear up.

Musically, SiK has a very bouncy soundtrack. The score is such that you cannot help but dance along. Bhootni Ke is enjoyable only after you translate the Punjabi. Jee Karda is God's gift to the world. SiK got 10 plus points whenever Katrina made a reference to her "ladies" or "girls" (all my ladies goinng crazy with the rhythm...). Yesterday, I counted 5 times so 50 plus points! The choreography is just almost a non-choreography. Nope, none of that pretentiously intricate dances is here! Bas Ek Kinng is servicable in the picture, but you won't find it on anyone's Top 25 Most Played list. Talli Hua is much better in the film, usinng a hilarious duet version. The video is very amusinng. Teri Ore is my second favorite song. Though I pictured it in the fields of Amritsar, this video is very symbolic since Sohniys and Happy met in Egypt. The Snoop Dogg version of the title song is a complete waste of time.

Akshay Kumar, to no one's surprise, delivers a fine performance. His comedic timinng and his dramatic actinng are both top-notch. Katrina Kaif is slowly becominng more comfortable in front of the camera and with her Hindi. All she needs now is that perfect dramatic part that will solidify her role in the industry. Kirron Kher is excellent as usual, but I wish she had more chance to be as funny as usual. Of the supportinng cast, only Neha Dhupia stands out. She's surprisingly really funny and her quickness at pulling out a gun is quite remarkable. Everyone else performs fine except Javed Jaffrey, who is irritatinng.

If I had to pick a flaw, it'd be the choppy editinng that was present in Welcs also. I find it, however, endearinng not irritatinng.

I'd reccomend SiK to anyone. It's a truly "happy" film. Havinng seen it, however, I realized that I have two goals in life.
1. Become friends with one of Katrina's "ladies" and infiltrate the group. Lol.

2. Replace Salman with Akshay and Twinkle with Katrina.
Annnnnnnnd.......GO.

Singh is Kinng rates 8/10.

Shahid & Vidya: Together again (for the first time)

Kismat Konnection makes it official! Shahid Kapoor and Vidya Balan are the 21st century kounterparts to Shah Rukh Khan and Juhi Chawla. Shahid Kapoor has the disarming charm of King Khan, a quality that makes you love him from the outset. Vidya Balan is bubbly and sweet like Juhi Chawla, with the talent to match. I never thought of these two as a pair. They seem to fit with any ko-star (Amrita, Kareena, Ayesha for Shahid; Saif, Akshay, Shiney, John for Vidya) but now that they're together it seems like the most natural thing in the world. And who better to bring King Kapoor and...uh... Vidya (does Juhi have a nickname?) than SRK-Juhi's best direktor Aziz Mirza, known for such hits like Yes Boss, Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman, Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani, Chalte Chalte and who kould forget the most important film of all time Circus? Pritam gives the skore of Kismat Konnection and the lyriks are by Sayeed Quadri and Shabbir Ahmed. It's safe to say that this album is one of the best of 2008 (kalling it the best might be a little radikal).

There are 5 songs, each with their own remix and an alternate version for one. With eleven songs, this skore might seem like a tedious journey. It's not.

Aai Pappi (Tu Hai Meri Sohniye) is the opening number and it's destined to be the next big song of the summer. Neeraj Shridar sings this robustly, giving the "aai pappi" line that addiktive quality that guarantees its hit status. Pritam's musik is stellar, using trumpets quite well. Lyriks are oridinary but fun. Even though this will be the most popular song, it certainly isn't the best. 10/10.

Atif Aslam returns to sing another one of Pritam's tunes and Bakhuda Tumhi Ho is just as good, if not better, than the rest. This time he is paired with Alka Yagnik. Like Vidya and Shahid, this pair seemed to be of different worlds but now that they're together, what took them so long? Singing is exceptional, of kourse. Lyriks are sublime and the musik is divine. Glorious! 10/10.

Move Your Body Now is a dance number. It's simple and fun and I really like Pritam's arrangements. The song is zingy and it's lyriks are silly (kudi, tu lagti hai naughty). The singers, Shaan, Akriti Kakkar, Suheil and Hard Kaur again, provide this number that extra boot. Another winner! 10/10.

Is This Love? (Kahin Na Laage) is a sweet love song, sung by Mohit Chauhan and Shreya Goshal. It's not as sweeping as Bakudha, it has a more pop sound. Shreya Goshal, with the limited audio time she has, is just too, too good in her part. Mohit Chauhan is basically a rock star with his rendition. I kan't decide if the lyriks are originally old-fashioned or trite but who cares? 10/10.

The last original song is Sohniye Ve (Dhak, Dhak, Dhak). Sung expertly by Sonu Nigam and Sunidhi Chauhan, this song isn't original but sounds really familiar. It reminds me of Salman Khan and Priyanka Chopra for some reason... It has a Punjabi flavor which was the only thing missing from this album. Do I like it? Yes. But it kould have been as good as Nagada Nagada Nagada Bajaa. 8/10.

A repeat of Move Your Body Now is offered. The only difference is that Adeel replaces Shaan and Suheil from the first version. I prefer the first one. Don't bother even downloading this one. 5/10.

I won't go into detail about the remixes. I usually don't like remixes - I rarely download them - but, because this projekt is so near and dear to my heart, I decided to. I kan say I wasn't disappointed.

Aai Pappi - 10/10.

Bakudha Tumhi Ho - 10/10.

Move Your Body Now - 9/10

Is This Love? - 8/10.
Sohniye Ve - 8/10.

Most definitely, this album is worth a buy or a download session. I kan say that this film is one to watch out for: the direktor is a genius, the lead pair is a good one and the soundtrack is rocking and smashing and glorious and marvelous. So, go ahead and test your kismat with Kismat Konnection. 98/110 or A-.

PS - the K in the title is not for numerological reasons but for one artisitc one: alliteration. The title was going to be Lucky Charm but I'm glad it's not because then I would have no reason to replace Cs with Ks throughout my review.

Ugly aur Pagli:A New Anu

Anu Malik, having given us his vintage style with the superb Love Story 2050, Madonnifies himself in Ugly Aur Pagli. These sleek confessions on a dance floor are unlike anything Anu Malik has released during his career. That doesn't mean that UAP is completely original. That much of old Anu Malik has been retained! Anyway, UAP promises to be a wacky comedy and I know this because the tagline reads: 99 slaps; 1 kiss. Also, the film stars the underrated comedian Ranvir Shorey (Aaja Nachle, No Smoking, Pyaar Ke Side/Effects) and the Marilyn Monroe of Bollywood (another underrated comedienne) Miss Mallika Sherawat who got to stretch her comedic chops in PKS/E and Welcome (RUKHO!!!!). I'm excited for these two to come together for they are literally the title characters. We all know Ranvir is the biggest looker in the BW and Mallika--well, crazy is an understatement (Bachke Rehnaa Re Baba, anyone?). Anu Malik works with lyricist Amitabh Varma for this rocking recording.

Just an overview. There are 5 songs, 2 remixes and 2 songs each have an alternate version. This makes 9 songs total.

The album opener is the explosive Talli, undoubtedly the best song UAP has to offer. Sung by Anmol Malik and Mika Singh, this dance track offers raps by a female rapper named Hard Kaur who I vaguely remember. The singing is energetic and fun while also not earth-shattering. The music is peppy and addictive. At six minutes and fourteen seconds, however, Talli could be guilty of overstaying its welcome on the dance floor. Luckily, the one DJ in all of Delaware who plays entire songs will probably never have this song in his collection so we are safe! 10/10.

Karle Gunaah is unique because the lyrics are entirely in Hindi. This does not make this song any purer. Ishq Bector and Anushka Manchanandi (who?!) sing this number quite seductively and the Daddy Yankee-inspired beats are quite listenable. It's obviously a club number in the film but it's not danceable in the real world because it's slower than we are used to. It had to grow on me. It's not as good as its predecessor or its successor. 7/10.

Finally some singers we know! Sunidhi Chauhan and Shaan sing a soloistic duet called Yeh Nazar. Both of them have their seperate parts of the song and there is no interaction between them. This promises to be a fun video because the music is so poppy and fun and it just reminds me of cotton candy for some reason. Don't ask! But I imagine lots of sun and flowers and Mallika an yellow dress and Ranvir in bright colors. The song is just too feel-good to write off and the singers provide stellar renditions but no surprise there. 10/10.

Talli returns for its alternate version and this one is an Anu Malik solo. Whaaaaat?! It's exactly the same and it's really not necessary. I mean, duet is written in the song's DNA but Anu Malikgets his ya-yas from singing his own tunes. I mean, the song is so whatever. Don't download! 4/10.

Okay, you're on a dance floor. Spinning the records is, say, DJ Honey. He's not the most thrilling DJ but you aren't going to let a terrible turntablist ruin your fun. The person next to you, however, just keeps complaining about the Honsters and you get really annoyed with him or her. All you want to do is yell, "Just shut up and dance!" The next track sympathizes with you. It's called Shut Up, Aa Nachley. This duet with Anu Malik and Vasundhra Das is probably the most like old-school Anu Malik and it's a fun, nonstop dance number but, with a title like that, it has to be. This is sure to be a dance hit in part two of 2008. 9/10.

Anu Malik reprises Karle Gunaah and again this a solo for him. And again it's not necessary for the world to hear. This is major skippage! 4/10.

Anu Malik, Amitabh Varma and Mohit Chauhan team up for Yaad Teri Aaye, a thoughtful, emotional ballad that hits the right notes. You'd think that after such so many high-adrenaline dance tracks, this ballad would seem out of place but it works. Mohit Chuahan (Tumse Hi - Jab We Met) is absolutely rocking in this song and the lyrics are great. 9/10.

Next we have a remix for Talli. It's almost as good as the original. 8/10.

Karle Gunaah is repeated a third time also in remix form. This one is techno heavy but I like it better than the original. 8/10.

If I were you I'd download the five original songs and the two remixes. Anu Malik's versions of Talli and Karle Gunaah are just not as fun as the other seven. UAP is a fun soundtrack, good for a long drive in traffic. These are songs that will be fun watch on screen especially with the comedic couple Mallika and Ranvir.

Ugly Aur Pagli rates a 69/90. Must download!

The Malik Strikes Back!

Karan: I know what you're looking for - me!
Sanaa: (sarcastically) Mh-hmm...

Karan: I'm smart. I'm DEFINITELY sexy!
Sanaa: (mockingly) Oh!

Karan: I can make you laugh; I'm strong. Bas woh pyaar-vyaar ka thoda problem hai. But I've come around.

Sanaa: Ha-ha! Stop it, Karan!

Karan: Come on... it's the truth...

Sanaa: Stop it!
Karan: It's the truth, you know it!

Thus begins Track 4 - Sach Kehnaa - of Anu Malik's glorious return to Bollywood, Love Story 2050. Each of the nine tracks in this futuristic love story begins with a small clip from the film which may or not actually be a part of the song as presented in the film. The opening scene in Sach Kehnaa seems to be one of the few which is. Director Harry Baweja (Deewane, Main Aisa Hi Hoon) is introducing his son Harman Baweja in this film also starring a rock star named Priyanka Chopra. I am delighted to say that the choreogrpaher will be no other than the revolutionary Vaibhavi Merchant. The lyrics are by none other than Javed Akhtar.

The album begins with the dance track Milo Na Milo. Sung by Shaan, this song is one of three dance vehicles for Harman whose dancing style is similar to Hrithik Roshan's but more unassuming and less self-satisfied. The music is typical club song, containing no futuristic sounds except for a robot-sounding voice that has a few lines it repeats throughout the song. This is appropriate because the background dancers are robots. Finally! The lyrics are catchy, especially the robot's. 7/10. Good opening!

Next, we have a sweeping love song. I consider them to be Anu Malik's forte: Mere Humsafar, Humein Jabse Mohabbat, Pyaar Bharaa Geet Koi, Baazigar O Baazigar, Behka Diyaa Humein, Churaake Dil Mera, just to name a few. His instrumentations in Meelon Ka are divine and simple, creating a good atmosphere for romance...for Sanaa and Karan. Alka Yagnik and Kay Kay sing this song perfectly. A.R. Rahman will always be Alka Yagnik's best composer but Anu Malik is no stranger to the anatomy of her voice. She overshadows Kay Kay with her gloriously flawless rendition. Javed Akhtar's lyrics are the most beautiful in this song, especially in the second verse. 10/10. Wonderful!

(Teri Meri Yeh) Love Story is given the unfortunate task of coming after Meelon Ka. This Shaan solo holds its own but just barely. The music is typical Anu Malik but since it's been so long, typical is almost welcome. The lyrics are again exceptional and the one thing that gives this song repeat value. (I'm beginning to think that Harry Baweja was really and truly smart to rope in a poet like Javed Akhtar.) Shaan's rendition is sweet but he brings nothing new to the table. 7/10. Could be better

Now we have the fourth song, known to the public as Sach Kehnaa and those of you who are paying attention will remember that this is the very same song I discussed (albeit very briefly) in the beginning . This song is a lot better than it wants you to think it is. Anu Malik provides really original music. I hear some Spanish guitar, Indian classical alaaps, clapping, electric guitar and of course Kunal Ganjawala's stellar, stellar rendition. Harman Baweja's dancing is also good. Check it out on YouTube. Lyrics are unboringly and cleverly familiar. Just a great number! I also love the ending of it. 10/10. One of the best!

Only Alisha Chinoy can sing a song called Lover Boy. Chinoy, whose motto is "forty is the new twenty," relishes in singing (and pulling off) songs that are at least fifteen years her junior (SHUT UP! ...And kiss me...). When I first heard this song, I hated it! I felt like it had no purpose to exist in the world. The lyrics were banal, the music was lacklustre and the singing atrocious. I heard it more, however, and it grew on me. Now it's like the best song ever. I absolutely love trashy songs (especially those with videos starring B-list or C-list actresses). I'm still debating whether this song is trashy or not because Priyanka has class. The song is progressive because... it, at the core, is about patriarchy not existing in 2050. Or am I taking this too far? Well, Anu Malik's bizarre and probably ripped-off music has to grow on you. The main line (Hey you lover boy! / Will you be my toy?) is sung 19 times during the song. 8/10. Gradually likable!

Mausam Achaanak is instantly lovable for its catchy melody, beautiful lyrics and stellar musical arrangments. It's one of those question-and-answer songs. "Mausam achaanak yeh badla hai kyun? / Rut ki yeh aadat hai--aur kya kahoon?" This song is breezy (and not in a neurotic way like Monica's crazy message on Richard's machine). Shaan and Alka Yagnik have a good vocal chemistry but yet again Ms. Yagnik takes the cake and overshadows everything in the number. I mean, whenever Alka Yagnik sings, my knees just turn to jello. 10/10. Glorious!

The last original track is also the last of the dance numbers. Aa Gaya is the most futuristic of all the songs, creating a techno blend with Indian sounds. Unfortunately, the radical novelty of the music does not continue with the lyrics. They do not sound like Javed Akhtar. They're not bad but they're not original. Kay Kay's rendition is also what he usually does. Don't get me wrong - this song is a good listen but considering what else this album has to offer, this just doesn't raise the bar. I do like the "you have fallen in love, oh stranger, oh stranger" line. 7/10. Enjoyable.

At this point, if you wanted to go back to Track 1 and listen to the first seven songs, I wouldn't blame you. Both Meelon Ka and Love Story are reprised but in a sadder and shorter version. Meelon Ka offers some interesting new arrangements and the song is listenable. 8/10. Love Story is just a sad song and it seems odd that they chose to end on such a low note. Like I said, if you don't want end the album depressed, end with Aa Gaya or even the Meelon Ka reprise. 5/10.

The dialogue bits mean little outside of the context of the film but they're enjoyable. Priyanka and Harman are cute together (I'm DEFINITELY sexy!).All things considered, this is a highly enjoyable album that is worth many repeats. Harman Baweja is having a dream debut of sorts: great soundtrack, talented co-star, terrific choreographer and a novel idea.

Love Story 2050 rates a 72/90.

A Not So Wonderful Ghai in Black & White

As I watched Subhash Ghai's latest film, Black & White, I reflected upon his successful career and its recent rockiness. I realized that Subhash Ghai never once attempted meaningful cinema. He always catered to the masses by giving them what they want: music, pretty and talented faces, action, comedy and melodrama. And this formula worked. I guess Pardes and Meri Jung are the closest he got to poignancy but Pardes lost all of its credibility to its gargantuan bias against the West and Meri Jung fell victim to Rock and Roll and large pianos. I reflected upon the failures of Yaadein and Kisna-The Warrior Poet. Both of them suffered from weak storylines, something fans of Subhash Ghai found weird. No matter how much he packed his films with formulas, they always had an emotionally charged story, unlike those two. With B&W, the powerful story returns. I'm not saying that this new film is perfect and flawless--far from it!

Starring Anil Kapoor, Shefali Shah and Habib Tanvir, the film is the vehicle for debutantes Anurag Sinha and Aditi Sharma. The superb soundtrack is by Sukhwinder Singh. This is the 17th film directed by Subhash Ghai.

Mehmood (Sinha) is a suicide bomber convinced that India is the villain against Islam. He is assigned to become a martyr for Allah by bombing the Red Fort in New Delhi on Independence Day (August 15th). He assumes the identity of Numair Qazi, an man whose parents were burned alive in Gujurat by Hindu extremists. Two weeks before the 15th, he goes to Chandni Chowk to live with the grand-uncle of his alias Gaffar Chahcha (Tanvir), a poet. He meets Professor Rajan Mathur (Kapoor), an Urdu professor who is known throughout Chandni Chowk as a professor of peace also. His wife is Roma (Shah), a firecracker of a woman who can't stand to see any kind of injustice and lets the world know that. Shahgufta (Sharma) is Gaffar's neighbor with whom Numair falls in love. During his two week stay, Numair gets to know the Mathur family and they introduce color into his "black & white" world. He then must make the decision to go ahead and bomb the Red Fort or choose to live with love, peace, joy and color.

I applaud Subhash Ghai for making a film with a sensitive premise. His other films are larger than life and rarely get to examine the conscience of the human mind and heart. Showing Numair/Mehmood's past in black and white is a cliched, but effective, device. Actually the cinematography is exceptional; Chandni Chowk looks gorgeous. Also, the music is catchy and meaningful but when did a Ghai film ever have bad music? These songs are not chartbusters but they're thoughtful and sweet and very traditional. Jogi Aaya is my favorite. Peer Manaava is choreographed well. I like it when the dancing isn't too intricate (especially in this kind of film) because it makes everything more realistic. Haq Allah is typical but a good composition. Yeh Hindustan Hai is of the annoyingly patriotic variety. Main Chalaa is sung exceptionally by Sukhwinder Singh.

Like I said earlier, however, the film suffers from a weak script. The actual events are kind of boring and cliched. Subhash Ghai just doesn't take it far enough. Numair's slow entrance into the peaceful, happy lives of the Mathurs is just that--slow. Not gradual, but slow. The script takes its sweet time to change Numair/Mehmood but by the time he does, it is surprising. He still exhibits his extremist/traditional character until late in the picture when it is too late for both the characters and the film itself.

Of course, none of this is helped is by Anurag Sinha who is completely lost in the picture. His classical training was either a lie or a joke because all he does is stare coldly. Yes, he plays a cold character but there seems to be no beating heart; he is just a statue. Also, Ghai has him do some ridiculous things. Anytime he gets angered, he shoots the culprit. A better actor could have made this chilling but Sinha makes it laughable. It would be a fun drinking game for those over 21. Take a shot whenever Numair shoots someone!

Aditi Sharma is a waste of time. Though she is mildly pretty, her performance is ultimately lacklustre. I don't blame Ms. Sharma, however. I blame the Showman himself for doing Shahgufta an injustice. Ghai's films almost always contain strong women essayed by strong actreeses (even Yaadein had Kareena Kapoor's strong turn as Isha) but Ms. Sharma isn't allowed anything.

Perhaps the team felt that Shefali Shah filled the quota for strong women. She is an explosion in her every scene and never hesitiates to pull out all the stops. Her chemistry with all the actors is high and her body language is stellar. Shefali Shah is the one thing in B&W that is gloriously brilliant.

This brings me to Anil Kapoor, whose name I once chose as my middle name ("Call me Manish Anil Kapoor Mathur!"). He is as much as a fire as his onscreen wife. Of course, we all knew that. Anil Kapoor has done many, many films with Subhash Ghai and each is better than the last. His passions, his monologues, his restraint--just marvelous. Anil Kapoor gives a performance for the ages.

The supporting cast is good and is filled with names unfamiliar. Habib Tanvir is a stage actor of India and his performance is also noteworthy. Everyone else is fine except for the woman who plays Mehmood's mother or sister. I couldn't stand her during her one scene.

I would reccomend this film to anyone who can appreciate a film's message despite its flaws. Also, parts of Anurag Sinha's performance need to be seen to be believed. Jokes apart, Anil Kapoor and Shefali Sinha save this film from being barely tolerable. Oh, yes, I forgot something really important about the cast as a whole. The fact that they can say or respond to the name Shahgufta without sounding awkward or laughing is really commendable. Black & White rates a 6.5/10.