Shahid & Vidya: Together again (for the first time)

Kismat Konnection makes it official! Shahid Kapoor and Vidya Balan are the 21st century kounterparts to Shah Rukh Khan and Juhi Chawla. Shahid Kapoor has the disarming charm of King Khan, a quality that makes you love him from the outset. Vidya Balan is bubbly and sweet like Juhi Chawla, with the talent to match. I never thought of these two as a pair. They seem to fit with any ko-star (Amrita, Kareena, Ayesha for Shahid; Saif, Akshay, Shiney, John for Vidya) but now that they're together it seems like the most natural thing in the world. And who better to bring King Kapoor and...uh... Vidya (does Juhi have a nickname?) than SRK-Juhi's best direktor Aziz Mirza, known for such hits like Yes Boss, Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman, Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani, Chalte Chalte and who kould forget the most important film of all time Circus? Pritam gives the skore of Kismat Konnection and the lyriks are by Sayeed Quadri and Shabbir Ahmed. It's safe to say that this album is one of the best of 2008 (kalling it the best might be a little radikal).

There are 5 songs, each with their own remix and an alternate version for one. With eleven songs, this skore might seem like a tedious journey. It's not.

Aai Pappi (Tu Hai Meri Sohniye) is the opening number and it's destined to be the next big song of the summer. Neeraj Shridar sings this robustly, giving the "aai pappi" line that addiktive quality that guarantees its hit status. Pritam's musik is stellar, using trumpets quite well. Lyriks are oridinary but fun. Even though this will be the most popular song, it certainly isn't the best. 10/10.

Atif Aslam returns to sing another one of Pritam's tunes and Bakhuda Tumhi Ho is just as good, if not better, than the rest. This time he is paired with Alka Yagnik. Like Vidya and Shahid, this pair seemed to be of different worlds but now that they're together, what took them so long? Singing is exceptional, of kourse. Lyriks are sublime and the musik is divine. Glorious! 10/10.

Move Your Body Now is a dance number. It's simple and fun and I really like Pritam's arrangements. The song is zingy and it's lyriks are silly (kudi, tu lagti hai naughty). The singers, Shaan, Akriti Kakkar, Suheil and Hard Kaur again, provide this number that extra boot. Another winner! 10/10.

Is This Love? (Kahin Na Laage) is a sweet love song, sung by Mohit Chauhan and Shreya Goshal. It's not as sweeping as Bakudha, it has a more pop sound. Shreya Goshal, with the limited audio time she has, is just too, too good in her part. Mohit Chauhan is basically a rock star with his rendition. I kan't decide if the lyriks are originally old-fashioned or trite but who cares? 10/10.

The last original song is Sohniye Ve (Dhak, Dhak, Dhak). Sung expertly by Sonu Nigam and Sunidhi Chauhan, this song isn't original but sounds really familiar. It reminds me of Salman Khan and Priyanka Chopra for some reason... It has a Punjabi flavor which was the only thing missing from this album. Do I like it? Yes. But it kould have been as good as Nagada Nagada Nagada Bajaa. 8/10.

A repeat of Move Your Body Now is offered. The only difference is that Adeel replaces Shaan and Suheil from the first version. I prefer the first one. Don't bother even downloading this one. 5/10.

I won't go into detail about the remixes. I usually don't like remixes - I rarely download them - but, because this projekt is so near and dear to my heart, I decided to. I kan say I wasn't disappointed.

Aai Pappi - 10/10.

Bakudha Tumhi Ho - 10/10.

Move Your Body Now - 9/10

Is This Love? - 8/10.
Sohniye Ve - 8/10.

Most definitely, this album is worth a buy or a download session. I kan say that this film is one to watch out for: the direktor is a genius, the lead pair is a good one and the soundtrack is rocking and smashing and glorious and marvelous. So, go ahead and test your kismat with Kismat Konnection. 98/110 or A-.

PS - the K in the title is not for numerological reasons but for one artisitc one: alliteration. The title was going to be Lucky Charm but I'm glad it's not because then I would have no reason to replace Cs with Ks throughout my review.

Ugly aur Pagli:A New Anu

Anu Malik, having given us his vintage style with the superb Love Story 2050, Madonnifies himself in Ugly Aur Pagli. These sleek confessions on a dance floor are unlike anything Anu Malik has released during his career. That doesn't mean that UAP is completely original. That much of old Anu Malik has been retained! Anyway, UAP promises to be a wacky comedy and I know this because the tagline reads: 99 slaps; 1 kiss. Also, the film stars the underrated comedian Ranvir Shorey (Aaja Nachle, No Smoking, Pyaar Ke Side/Effects) and the Marilyn Monroe of Bollywood (another underrated comedienne) Miss Mallika Sherawat who got to stretch her comedic chops in PKS/E and Welcome (RUKHO!!!!). I'm excited for these two to come together for they are literally the title characters. We all know Ranvir is the biggest looker in the BW and Mallika--well, crazy is an understatement (Bachke Rehnaa Re Baba, anyone?). Anu Malik works with lyricist Amitabh Varma for this rocking recording.

Just an overview. There are 5 songs, 2 remixes and 2 songs each have an alternate version. This makes 9 songs total.

The album opener is the explosive Talli, undoubtedly the best song UAP has to offer. Sung by Anmol Malik and Mika Singh, this dance track offers raps by a female rapper named Hard Kaur who I vaguely remember. The singing is energetic and fun while also not earth-shattering. The music is peppy and addictive. At six minutes and fourteen seconds, however, Talli could be guilty of overstaying its welcome on the dance floor. Luckily, the one DJ in all of Delaware who plays entire songs will probably never have this song in his collection so we are safe! 10/10.

Karle Gunaah is unique because the lyrics are entirely in Hindi. This does not make this song any purer. Ishq Bector and Anushka Manchanandi (who?!) sing this number quite seductively and the Daddy Yankee-inspired beats are quite listenable. It's obviously a club number in the film but it's not danceable in the real world because it's slower than we are used to. It had to grow on me. It's not as good as its predecessor or its successor. 7/10.

Finally some singers we know! Sunidhi Chauhan and Shaan sing a soloistic duet called Yeh Nazar. Both of them have their seperate parts of the song and there is no interaction between them. This promises to be a fun video because the music is so poppy and fun and it just reminds me of cotton candy for some reason. Don't ask! But I imagine lots of sun and flowers and Mallika an yellow dress and Ranvir in bright colors. The song is just too feel-good to write off and the singers provide stellar renditions but no surprise there. 10/10.

Talli returns for its alternate version and this one is an Anu Malik solo. Whaaaaat?! It's exactly the same and it's really not necessary. I mean, duet is written in the song's DNA but Anu Malikgets his ya-yas from singing his own tunes. I mean, the song is so whatever. Don't download! 4/10.

Okay, you're on a dance floor. Spinning the records is, say, DJ Honey. He's not the most thrilling DJ but you aren't going to let a terrible turntablist ruin your fun. The person next to you, however, just keeps complaining about the Honsters and you get really annoyed with him or her. All you want to do is yell, "Just shut up and dance!" The next track sympathizes with you. It's called Shut Up, Aa Nachley. This duet with Anu Malik and Vasundhra Das is probably the most like old-school Anu Malik and it's a fun, nonstop dance number but, with a title like that, it has to be. This is sure to be a dance hit in part two of 2008. 9/10.

Anu Malik reprises Karle Gunaah and again this a solo for him. And again it's not necessary for the world to hear. This is major skippage! 4/10.

Anu Malik, Amitabh Varma and Mohit Chauhan team up for Yaad Teri Aaye, a thoughtful, emotional ballad that hits the right notes. You'd think that after such so many high-adrenaline dance tracks, this ballad would seem out of place but it works. Mohit Chuahan (Tumse Hi - Jab We Met) is absolutely rocking in this song and the lyrics are great. 9/10.

Next we have a remix for Talli. It's almost as good as the original. 8/10.

Karle Gunaah is repeated a third time also in remix form. This one is techno heavy but I like it better than the original. 8/10.

If I were you I'd download the five original songs and the two remixes. Anu Malik's versions of Talli and Karle Gunaah are just not as fun as the other seven. UAP is a fun soundtrack, good for a long drive in traffic. These are songs that will be fun watch on screen especially with the comedic couple Mallika and Ranvir.

Ugly Aur Pagli rates a 69/90. Must download!

The Malik Strikes Back!

Karan: I know what you're looking for - me!
Sanaa: (sarcastically) Mh-hmm...

Karan: I'm smart. I'm DEFINITELY sexy!
Sanaa: (mockingly) Oh!

Karan: I can make you laugh; I'm strong. Bas woh pyaar-vyaar ka thoda problem hai. But I've come around.

Sanaa: Ha-ha! Stop it, Karan!

Karan: Come on... it's the truth...

Sanaa: Stop it!
Karan: It's the truth, you know it!

Thus begins Track 4 - Sach Kehnaa - of Anu Malik's glorious return to Bollywood, Love Story 2050. Each of the nine tracks in this futuristic love story begins with a small clip from the film which may or not actually be a part of the song as presented in the film. The opening scene in Sach Kehnaa seems to be one of the few which is. Director Harry Baweja (Deewane, Main Aisa Hi Hoon) is introducing his son Harman Baweja in this film also starring a rock star named Priyanka Chopra. I am delighted to say that the choreogrpaher will be no other than the revolutionary Vaibhavi Merchant. The lyrics are by none other than Javed Akhtar.

The album begins with the dance track Milo Na Milo. Sung by Shaan, this song is one of three dance vehicles for Harman whose dancing style is similar to Hrithik Roshan's but more unassuming and less self-satisfied. The music is typical club song, containing no futuristic sounds except for a robot-sounding voice that has a few lines it repeats throughout the song. This is appropriate because the background dancers are robots. Finally! The lyrics are catchy, especially the robot's. 7/10. Good opening!

Next, we have a sweeping love song. I consider them to be Anu Malik's forte: Mere Humsafar, Humein Jabse Mohabbat, Pyaar Bharaa Geet Koi, Baazigar O Baazigar, Behka Diyaa Humein, Churaake Dil Mera, just to name a few. His instrumentations in Meelon Ka are divine and simple, creating a good atmosphere for romance...for Sanaa and Karan. Alka Yagnik and Kay Kay sing this song perfectly. A.R. Rahman will always be Alka Yagnik's best composer but Anu Malik is no stranger to the anatomy of her voice. She overshadows Kay Kay with her gloriously flawless rendition. Javed Akhtar's lyrics are the most beautiful in this song, especially in the second verse. 10/10. Wonderful!

(Teri Meri Yeh) Love Story is given the unfortunate task of coming after Meelon Ka. This Shaan solo holds its own but just barely. The music is typical Anu Malik but since it's been so long, typical is almost welcome. The lyrics are again exceptional and the one thing that gives this song repeat value. (I'm beginning to think that Harry Baweja was really and truly smart to rope in a poet like Javed Akhtar.) Shaan's rendition is sweet but he brings nothing new to the table. 7/10. Could be better

Now we have the fourth song, known to the public as Sach Kehnaa and those of you who are paying attention will remember that this is the very same song I discussed (albeit very briefly) in the beginning . This song is a lot better than it wants you to think it is. Anu Malik provides really original music. I hear some Spanish guitar, Indian classical alaaps, clapping, electric guitar and of course Kunal Ganjawala's stellar, stellar rendition. Harman Baweja's dancing is also good. Check it out on YouTube. Lyrics are unboringly and cleverly familiar. Just a great number! I also love the ending of it. 10/10. One of the best!

Only Alisha Chinoy can sing a song called Lover Boy. Chinoy, whose motto is "forty is the new twenty," relishes in singing (and pulling off) songs that are at least fifteen years her junior (SHUT UP! ...And kiss me...). When I first heard this song, I hated it! I felt like it had no purpose to exist in the world. The lyrics were banal, the music was lacklustre and the singing atrocious. I heard it more, however, and it grew on me. Now it's like the best song ever. I absolutely love trashy songs (especially those with videos starring B-list or C-list actresses). I'm still debating whether this song is trashy or not because Priyanka has class. The song is progressive because... it, at the core, is about patriarchy not existing in 2050. Or am I taking this too far? Well, Anu Malik's bizarre and probably ripped-off music has to grow on you. The main line (Hey you lover boy! / Will you be my toy?) is sung 19 times during the song. 8/10. Gradually likable!

Mausam Achaanak is instantly lovable for its catchy melody, beautiful lyrics and stellar musical arrangments. It's one of those question-and-answer songs. "Mausam achaanak yeh badla hai kyun? / Rut ki yeh aadat hai--aur kya kahoon?" This song is breezy (and not in a neurotic way like Monica's crazy message on Richard's machine). Shaan and Alka Yagnik have a good vocal chemistry but yet again Ms. Yagnik takes the cake and overshadows everything in the number. I mean, whenever Alka Yagnik sings, my knees just turn to jello. 10/10. Glorious!

The last original track is also the last of the dance numbers. Aa Gaya is the most futuristic of all the songs, creating a techno blend with Indian sounds. Unfortunately, the radical novelty of the music does not continue with the lyrics. They do not sound like Javed Akhtar. They're not bad but they're not original. Kay Kay's rendition is also what he usually does. Don't get me wrong - this song is a good listen but considering what else this album has to offer, this just doesn't raise the bar. I do like the "you have fallen in love, oh stranger, oh stranger" line. 7/10. Enjoyable.

At this point, if you wanted to go back to Track 1 and listen to the first seven songs, I wouldn't blame you. Both Meelon Ka and Love Story are reprised but in a sadder and shorter version. Meelon Ka offers some interesting new arrangements and the song is listenable. 8/10. Love Story is just a sad song and it seems odd that they chose to end on such a low note. Like I said, if you don't want end the album depressed, end with Aa Gaya or even the Meelon Ka reprise. 5/10.

The dialogue bits mean little outside of the context of the film but they're enjoyable. Priyanka and Harman are cute together (I'm DEFINITELY sexy!).All things considered, this is a highly enjoyable album that is worth many repeats. Harman Baweja is having a dream debut of sorts: great soundtrack, talented co-star, terrific choreographer and a novel idea.

Love Story 2050 rates a 72/90.

A Not So Wonderful Ghai in Black & White

As I watched Subhash Ghai's latest film, Black & White, I reflected upon his successful career and its recent rockiness. I realized that Subhash Ghai never once attempted meaningful cinema. He always catered to the masses by giving them what they want: music, pretty and talented faces, action, comedy and melodrama. And this formula worked. I guess Pardes and Meri Jung are the closest he got to poignancy but Pardes lost all of its credibility to its gargantuan bias against the West and Meri Jung fell victim to Rock and Roll and large pianos. I reflected upon the failures of Yaadein and Kisna-The Warrior Poet. Both of them suffered from weak storylines, something fans of Subhash Ghai found weird. No matter how much he packed his films with formulas, they always had an emotionally charged story, unlike those two. With B&W, the powerful story returns. I'm not saying that this new film is perfect and flawless--far from it!

Starring Anil Kapoor, Shefali Shah and Habib Tanvir, the film is the vehicle for debutantes Anurag Sinha and Aditi Sharma. The superb soundtrack is by Sukhwinder Singh. This is the 17th film directed by Subhash Ghai.

Mehmood (Sinha) is a suicide bomber convinced that India is the villain against Islam. He is assigned to become a martyr for Allah by bombing the Red Fort in New Delhi on Independence Day (August 15th). He assumes the identity of Numair Qazi, an man whose parents were burned alive in Gujurat by Hindu extremists. Two weeks before the 15th, he goes to Chandni Chowk to live with the grand-uncle of his alias Gaffar Chahcha (Tanvir), a poet. He meets Professor Rajan Mathur (Kapoor), an Urdu professor who is known throughout Chandni Chowk as a professor of peace also. His wife is Roma (Shah), a firecracker of a woman who can't stand to see any kind of injustice and lets the world know that. Shahgufta (Sharma) is Gaffar's neighbor with whom Numair falls in love. During his two week stay, Numair gets to know the Mathur family and they introduce color into his "black & white" world. He then must make the decision to go ahead and bomb the Red Fort or choose to live with love, peace, joy and color.

I applaud Subhash Ghai for making a film with a sensitive premise. His other films are larger than life and rarely get to examine the conscience of the human mind and heart. Showing Numair/Mehmood's past in black and white is a cliched, but effective, device. Actually the cinematography is exceptional; Chandni Chowk looks gorgeous. Also, the music is catchy and meaningful but when did a Ghai film ever have bad music? These songs are not chartbusters but they're thoughtful and sweet and very traditional. Jogi Aaya is my favorite. Peer Manaava is choreographed well. I like it when the dancing isn't too intricate (especially in this kind of film) because it makes everything more realistic. Haq Allah is typical but a good composition. Yeh Hindustan Hai is of the annoyingly patriotic variety. Main Chalaa is sung exceptionally by Sukhwinder Singh.

Like I said earlier, however, the film suffers from a weak script. The actual events are kind of boring and cliched. Subhash Ghai just doesn't take it far enough. Numair's slow entrance into the peaceful, happy lives of the Mathurs is just that--slow. Not gradual, but slow. The script takes its sweet time to change Numair/Mehmood but by the time he does, it is surprising. He still exhibits his extremist/traditional character until late in the picture when it is too late for both the characters and the film itself.

Of course, none of this is helped is by Anurag Sinha who is completely lost in the picture. His classical training was either a lie or a joke because all he does is stare coldly. Yes, he plays a cold character but there seems to be no beating heart; he is just a statue. Also, Ghai has him do some ridiculous things. Anytime he gets angered, he shoots the culprit. A better actor could have made this chilling but Sinha makes it laughable. It would be a fun drinking game for those over 21. Take a shot whenever Numair shoots someone!

Aditi Sharma is a waste of time. Though she is mildly pretty, her performance is ultimately lacklustre. I don't blame Ms. Sharma, however. I blame the Showman himself for doing Shahgufta an injustice. Ghai's films almost always contain strong women essayed by strong actreeses (even Yaadein had Kareena Kapoor's strong turn as Isha) but Ms. Sharma isn't allowed anything.

Perhaps the team felt that Shefali Shah filled the quota for strong women. She is an explosion in her every scene and never hesitiates to pull out all the stops. Her chemistry with all the actors is high and her body language is stellar. Shefali Shah is the one thing in B&W that is gloriously brilliant.

This brings me to Anil Kapoor, whose name I once chose as my middle name ("Call me Manish Anil Kapoor Mathur!"). He is as much as a fire as his onscreen wife. Of course, we all knew that. Anil Kapoor has done many, many films with Subhash Ghai and each is better than the last. His passions, his monologues, his restraint--just marvelous. Anil Kapoor gives a performance for the ages.

The supporting cast is good and is filled with names unfamiliar. Habib Tanvir is a stage actor of India and his performance is also noteworthy. Everyone else is fine except for the woman who plays Mehmood's mother or sister. I couldn't stand her during her one scene.

I would reccomend this film to anyone who can appreciate a film's message despite its flaws. Also, parts of Anurag Sinha's performance need to be seen to be believed. Jokes apart, Anil Kapoor and Shefali Sinha save this film from being barely tolerable. Oh, yes, I forgot something really important about the cast as a whole. The fact that they can say or respond to the name Shahgufta without sounding awkward or laughing is really commendable. Black & White rates a 6.5/10.

Johnny Gaddaar: Don't Fall Off the Edge of Your Seat!

Hindi thrillers. To some that is an oxymoron. And I can see why. Rarely do big banners produce thrillers. They're not as popular as they used to be. So usually the thrillers come from Hindi-Indies but independent cinema in Bollywood is not the same as independent cinema in Hollywood. In Bollywood, you have lesser-known stars, redundant music and cheap acting. Yes, Emraan Hashmi, I'm talking to you! But Johnny Gaddaar reverses all of that. Finally, a small movie makes a big impact with ferocious performances, a surprising story and a thrilling execution. Starring Dharmendra, Zakir Hussain, Vinay Pathak, Ashwini Kalsekar, Govind Namdeo and Rimi Sen, JohnnyG (as it's known on the IMDB boards) marks the debut of Neil Nitin Mukesh, grandson to that immortal singer Mukesh. According to Wikipedia, Neil Nitin Mukesh was named after Neil Armstrong and the name was suggested by Lata Mangeshkar. Hmmm. Anyway, JohnnyG has an innovative soundtrack by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy, which some consider to be their best. The film is directed by Sriram Raghavan, who debuted a couple of years ago with Ek Hasina Thi, which we all know to be a great film.

Vikram (Neil Nitin Mukesh) is a part of a gang of five men who work together to make quick money using shady methods. Though not much is known of the gang's history, what we can tell is that they are a rocky bunch. Mr. Sheshadri (Dharmendra) is the widowed leader of the gang. Prakash (Vinay Pathak) is the owner of a gambling club and a family man. His wife is Varsha (Ashwini Kalsekar) and she owns her own beauty parlor and she does not approve of his activities. Shardul (Zakir Hussain) is a sleazy man whose streets smarts don't translate to charm when it comes to his wife Mini (Rimi Sen) who is having an affair with Vikram. When an opportunity arises for the gang to acquire 2.5 crores, Vikram decides to steal it all for himself and Mini and run away to Canada. Shiva (Daya Shetty) is the muscle of the group who is assigned to carry out the deal. Vikram secretly follows Shiva and knocks him out to steal the money. Shiva accidentally is killed. How this one death leads to other accidental deaths and some not so accidental ones forms this tale of murder, greed, loyalty and (in the words of the Swedish pop group ABBA) money, money, money.

The movie is inspired by the mystery novels of James Hadley Chase. I have never read them but I read that the plot is a homage to Chase's plot devices. Since I'm not familiar with these novels I can't say if JohnnyG is a rip-off but I don't think it is. Vikram is seen reading the novels and possibly getting ideas from them. Usually rip-offs like to deny any connection to the original source not parade the connection. Another inspiration is from the Hindi thrillers of the 1970s, especially Parwana, starring Amitabh Bachchan. This seems to be one of his lesser known works and so I applaud Sriram Raghavan for not using an overrated Bachchan film as an inspiration. Yes, Farhan Akhtar, I'm talking to you! I don't mean to say that there's nothing original about this film. Its execution is stellar. Great music, exceptional cinematography, awesome costumes. Also, the way the scenes are strung together is very interesting. For example, there is a scene where Prakash and Varsha are at home watching an Amitabh Bachchan movie. The camera shows the movie on the tv and you think we're still in Prakash and Varsha's living room but the camera cuts to Vikram watching the same movie. It's clever things like that which make the movie a level above the rest.

Aside from JohnnyG, I like to call this film "The Sweet Redemption of Rimi Sen." Why? After a hilarious performance as Sweety in Dhoom, Rimi Sen was cast in roles of lesser meatiness. Everything she was in turned to box office gold (Hungama, Deewane Huye Paagal, Garam Masala, Golmaal - all big hits), but this was just a coincidence. She became a sort of lucky mascot but she specifically did not contribute to these successes. So when I saw her name on the DVD case, I was like "whateveeeeeer." Much to my surprise and delight, she gives a very strong, confident performance despite her lack of screen time. I will mention her final monologue at the end of the film--great work, Rimi!

The other female lead, Ashwini Kalsekar, delivers a fierce performance as well. I have never heard of Ms. Kalsekar but, as Varsha, she completely is on fire and completely challenges whoever with whom she is onscreen. Her last scene as well is a triumph. Dharmendra is good in the film but I just cannot stand him. He annoys me for some reason. Vinay Pathak, after seeing him in Aaja Nachle, is excellent in this film as well. He mixes the sensitivity of a family man with the danger of a crook to create a complex character. Zakir Hussain is also great as the sketchy Shardul. His scenes with Rimi Sen are well-written and perfomed. Govind Namdeo, as the police friend of Mr. Sheshadri, is chilling in his ruthlessness to solve the mystery of Shiva's and others' deaths.

This brings me to the man of the hour, debutante Neil Nitin Mukesh. Not only does he have striking good looks and piercingly expressive eyes, but he is exceptional in his dialogue delievery and body language. And he has motivation to do what he does and kill who he does. You never once question his actions even if you are gasping in surprise. This sexy and surreal debut is exciting because this actor's future is very promising.

If you have lost your faith in independent Hindi cinema, this smart, funny and surprising film will restore it. I mean when Neil Nitin Mukesh becomes a huge star, you don't want to just be joining the bandwagon. You'll want to have been there with him from the start. And of course, the rest of the cast and the crew are above average as well. In all respects, this is a must-see thriller.

Johnny Gaddaar rates a 10/10.

Tashan - Mango Pulp Fiction!

If you look up the term "pulp fiction" on Wikipedia, you won't only get the Quentin Tarantino's classic that I have yet to see. Turns out that the Master of the Fun & the Gory didn't coin that term. In fact, the phrase is the name of magazines that were popular from the 1920's to the 1950's which consisted of intricate revenge plots, gorgeous women and zany violence. Tarantino brought the style of those magazines to film. not just in the Travolta-Jackson-Thurman starrer but in many of his works such as Kill Bill and Death Proof. Having seen Tashan, I wondered how to describe it. Like my all time favorite film, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, it brought a new treatment to many of the Bollywood conventions but something intangible seperated it from the actioners of 1980's and 1990's. I then realized that the tashan of Tashan is Tarantinic, using outlandish comic book violence and gore. Unsurprisingly this is its greatest asset and also the reason for its undeserving failure. I'm not saying that this film is flawless and world-changing but it's something different which is what Bollywood critics ask for but can't handle.

Tashan stars Saif Ali Khan, Akshay Kumar, Kareena Kapoor and Anil Kapoor. The music is by Vishal-Shekhar with a plethora of lyricists.

Jimmy (Khan) works at a call centre, living the good life. Pooja (Kareena Kapoor) visits him and asks him to teach her boss Bhaiyyaji (Anil Kapoor) English. He seems to be obsessed with learning English and making it to the big leagues of International Thugs. Jimmy does his job but he also succeeds in wooing Pooja. Learning about her troubled past and large debt to Bhaiyyaji, he decides that it's best for both of them to steal all of Bhaiyyaji's money, pay him back with his own money and run away with the rest. Unfortunately for Jimmy, Pooja betrays them both and runs away. Infuriated, Bhaiyyaji hires the Kanpuriyan hoodlum Bachchan Pandey (Kumar) to find Pooja and get the money back with Jimmy. How they find her, join her side and try to defeat Bhaiyyaji forms the crux of this action-comedy.

Like I said before, this film is not flawless. And I don't think it's going to be a classic that's ahead of its time. In fact, it's barely of the "cult film" status. Even though it borrows from the Tarantinic style of comic book violence and revenge, there's still a quality missing from Archarya's film that Tarantino mastered. Acharya attempts a non-linear storytelling device, quite popular in Pulp Fiction and other pulp fictions. The movie's opens with the present but then Jimmy takes you in flashback and intermission happens at the culmination of the first scene. But it is not enough! And I think that is the tragic flaw of Tashan. Such a silly and gory story needs to be told in a unique mind-and-time-bending, er, tashan. Of course, this is Acharya's directorial debut. I'm sure if he works as hard to improve himself as Tarantino does,

he will become as good as Tarantino himself, if possible.

I admit my bias towards Kareena. But I don't think its unfounded. She is the kind of actress who is either loved or hated and it's impossible to change the opinions of either a lover or a hater. Fine, her career had a rocky start but get over it! Ever since Chameli, an entire four years ago, she has been trying to get rid of the Poo image and, in my opinion, she has done a fine job of it. She nows plays roles that are more down-to-earth and intelligent. And she is one of the few actresses who is allowed to display her comedic timing. How many times have we seen girls standing there reacting to male banter? It's annoying but Kareena, who is finally taking charge of her career, won't allow that to be her. Also, she is not afraid of the silly. The first time she did Poo in K3g was hilarious. It's obnoxious now because we know what it led to but back then we all fell for it. She got a Filmfare nomination for it, for crying out loud! After her fearless, full-bodied, exceptional performance in Jab We Met and 36 China Town (just kidding about the latter!), Kareena does another good job here. I mean, how many action heroines do we have in Bollywood? Zeenat Amaan? Priyanka Chopra? Lara Dutta?

Kareena is hilarious and sexy and I'm still looking for some pieces of my mind that she blew away. And there's this crazy moment in the climax where she (and I'm pretty sure they showed her face so it must have been actually her) does an air-borne flip, lands on Anil Kapoor and stabs him with a spear or something. I swear she channels Durga, exacting revenge on the demon Mahisasura. This iconic moment in her career is actually making a feminist statement about women being in control of their own lives and dominating a patriarchal society. The feminist that I am, that was a really intense part of Tashan. And it was really cool.

Anil Kapoor is really funny as Bhaiyyaji. Sometimes his schtick gets irritating, especially because it seems forced. And it's also typical. This is nothing new and Anil Kapoor saves it from being extremely obnoxious.

Saif Ali Khan is super suave and terrific. I mean, he is just really cool and he holds his own against action star Akshay. The man just oozes coolness especially in the earlier scenes at the call centre. Saif Ali Khan I think is at the point in his career where he will find success no matter what. Also, not only is Kareena objectified as a sexual object but Saif (and Akshay at some times) is as well, so all is fair for everyone in Tashan.

Praising Akshay Kumar is as unnecesaary as praising Haroon in Takoma Park. It just goes without saying. Of course, Haroon and Bachchan Pandey are funny. Of course, they emote well. Of course, they are really, really cool. Akshay Kumar has this look where he is adorably embarrassed, like a girl caught him talking about how much he loves her. He has this goofy smile, sometimes he puts his hand behind his head and he starts stuttering. God, that look is just brilliant and I never tire of it. Of course, Akshay is great in the action scenes as well. He does lift up a metal pole, swings it around and knocks some hoodlums off the roof. I mean, how do people find this movie unenjoyable!

Seriously, this movie is really funny and the music videos do full justice. The best video is Dil Dance Maare which literally comes out of nowhere and is a clever spoof of random dance songs. I think it got criticism because it is so random but hello! That's the point! Do Indian critics have no sense of humor? Lighten up. Then you have Falakh Tak which is an ode to romantic numbers of the 70s and 80s and 90s. It's cute and well-shot and Kareena looks absolutely look stunning in the black number. Chaliya and Dil Haara are good. In the former, Kareena's choreography is suitable to her (lack of) talents. Dil Haara is exceptionally shot. But I think the real star, of course, is choreographer Vaibhavi Merchant. Again she infuses these four songs with bohemian rhythms and eclectic dance steps. I could go on and on about her. Also, the costumes in this film deserve a mention, especially Kareena's. Yay Aki Narula!

Yash Raj Films is one of the most radically progressive production houses but unfortunately I seem to be the only one who thinks that. No other production house allows its directors full reign to make original, different and elaborate films. Now, it literally breaks my heart that the Indian audience and critics as well, aren't ready for such deviations from the cliched script. Even though pretty much every Yash Raj production is a flop, I still encourage you to keep faith in the company, because it is the only one that is actually expanding Hindi cinema to the reaches of the rest of the world. Tashan rates a 7/10. Go see it!

Just Say Yes to "No Smoking"!

People often complain that Bollywood is not original. And this is a valid statement since many movies are Indian versions of Hollywood hits. But, once in a while, comes an avant-garde picture with an original story, a revolutionary execution and terrific performances. No Smoking is one such picture. Directed by Anurag Kashyap, No Smoking stars John Abraham, Ayesha Takia, Paresh Rawal and Ranvir Shorey. The jazzy soundtrack is by Vishal Bhardwaj who I already praised in my U Me aur Hum review.

K (Abraham) is a chain smoker. His fiancee Anjali (Takia) realizes that he probably loves the cigarette more than he loves her, so she leaves him. Feeling lost without her, he decides to win her back and the only way he can is to quit smoking. Easier said than done! His friend Abhas Tyrewala (Shorey), who is sadly not called Cheenu by the characters, tells him about a camp of sorts that helps smokers quit smoking. What he thinks is a rehabilitation center is actually something quite different. He meets the eccentric Shri Shri - no kidding! - Baba Bengali (Rawal) who swears to K that his soul will be cleared of the dirty vice. K is a little spooked because a) to get to Baba Bengali is a quite a process; b) he hears screaming and sees many disturbing images; and c) one of Baba Bengali's heroes is the one and only Hitler. But, he signed the contract and cannot get out of it in this tale of addiction, the souls of humans, love and the power of the cigarette.

Everything in this film is novel. Cartoon bubbles present the thoughts of characters. A flashback scene is shown like a Charlie Chaplan flick. The background score is zingy and also uses old Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra hits. Anurag Kashyap succeeds in making Bollywood's first abstract - not unrealistic - film. The film switches from dream to reality and back again without apology. By the time the film reaches its shattering conclusion, you just don't know what to do with yourself. The film is scary, hilarious and thought-provoking all at once (but not in an "all-in-one" masala film way). Yes, there were times where I wanted to do anything else but look at the screen but in a good way. I feel that cinema's first goal is to entertain, yes, but its second goal is to challenge the viewer and make the viewer uncomfortable. For it is only when we are uncomfortable do we question ourselves. In what way am I like K? What are my addictions and what are they doing to my soul?

It doesn't hurt that John Abraham gives the second best performance of his career (his first will always be Jism). He is just perfect as the arrogant K. John Abraham, in my honest opinion, is just suited better for artsy independent films. He then doesn't get caught up playing the "hot villain" or whatever. Sure, this film does make use of his sex appeal but it totally makes sense for K to praise himself in the mirror after stepping out of the bathtub. John Abraham can be totally Western but also very Indian. He is just very good!

Ayesha Takia, though she doesn't have much to do, is brilliant. She actually gets a double role of sorts. She plays Anjali the concerned fiancee and also Annie the sexy secretary. Annie is really inconsequential except for some clever risque lines that I have heard elsewhere but not in Bollywood. Ayesha Takia plays both very differently. Not only that but she can do so much with so little and that goes to show that she is not a flash in the pan girl.

Ranvir Shorey is okay as Abhas. He is funny at times but he is the kind of character who is important but not enough to get a lot of screen time. Shorey is one actor who always gets sidelined sometimes. Paresh Rawal is excellent as Shri Shri Baba Bengali. He is mysterious and scary while stil working in a few jokes. I wouldn't say that this is his best role but the role could not have been done well without him, that's for sure.

Vishal Bhardwaj's score fits the bill. The songs are used mostly in the background with only the two chartbusters, Jab Bhi Cigarette and Phoonk De, having full-out videos (the latter of which stars the amazing Bipasha Basu). Jab Bhi Cigarette should be noted for its original choreography which is in the style of Bob Fosse. Even the bar the song takes place in is called The Bob Fosse!

Anurag Kashyap's cautionary tale about the dangers of addiction wasn't a box office gold mine nor did it garner great reviews. Perhaps the majority of Bollywood fans isn't ready for such abstract visuals and symbolic dialogues. Perhaps they don't like to question themselves or to make their own interpretations. That's okay. That group of Bollywood fans can always stick to their "Oh, So Obvious" masala films. But the rest of us can enjoy this enigmatic picture. No Smoking rates an 8.5/10.