Tashan - Mango Pulp Fiction!

If you look up the term "pulp fiction" on Wikipedia, you won't only get the Quentin Tarantino's classic that I have yet to see. Turns out that the Master of the Fun & the Gory didn't coin that term. In fact, the phrase is the name of magazines that were popular from the 1920's to the 1950's which consisted of intricate revenge plots, gorgeous women and zany violence. Tarantino brought the style of those magazines to film. not just in the Travolta-Jackson-Thurman starrer but in many of his works such as Kill Bill and Death Proof. Having seen Tashan, I wondered how to describe it. Like my all time favorite film, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, it brought a new treatment to many of the Bollywood conventions but something intangible seperated it from the actioners of 1980's and 1990's. I then realized that the tashan of Tashan is Tarantinic, using outlandish comic book violence and gore. Unsurprisingly this is its greatest asset and also the reason for its undeserving failure. I'm not saying that this film is flawless and world-changing but it's something different which is what Bollywood critics ask for but can't handle.

Tashan stars Saif Ali Khan, Akshay Kumar, Kareena Kapoor and Anil Kapoor. The music is by Vishal-Shekhar with a plethora of lyricists.

Jimmy (Khan) works at a call centre, living the good life. Pooja (Kareena Kapoor) visits him and asks him to teach her boss Bhaiyyaji (Anil Kapoor) English. He seems to be obsessed with learning English and making it to the big leagues of International Thugs. Jimmy does his job but he also succeeds in wooing Pooja. Learning about her troubled past and large debt to Bhaiyyaji, he decides that it's best for both of them to steal all of Bhaiyyaji's money, pay him back with his own money and run away with the rest. Unfortunately for Jimmy, Pooja betrays them both and runs away. Infuriated, Bhaiyyaji hires the Kanpuriyan hoodlum Bachchan Pandey (Kumar) to find Pooja and get the money back with Jimmy. How they find her, join her side and try to defeat Bhaiyyaji forms the crux of this action-comedy.

Like I said before, this film is not flawless. And I don't think it's going to be a classic that's ahead of its time. In fact, it's barely of the "cult film" status. Even though it borrows from the Tarantinic style of comic book violence and revenge, there's still a quality missing from Archarya's film that Tarantino mastered. Acharya attempts a non-linear storytelling device, quite popular in Pulp Fiction and other pulp fictions. The movie's opens with the present but then Jimmy takes you in flashback and intermission happens at the culmination of the first scene. But it is not enough! And I think that is the tragic flaw of Tashan. Such a silly and gory story needs to be told in a unique mind-and-time-bending, er, tashan. Of course, this is Acharya's directorial debut. I'm sure if he works as hard to improve himself as Tarantino does,

he will become as good as Tarantino himself, if possible.

I admit my bias towards Kareena. But I don't think its unfounded. She is the kind of actress who is either loved or hated and it's impossible to change the opinions of either a lover or a hater. Fine, her career had a rocky start but get over it! Ever since Chameli, an entire four years ago, she has been trying to get rid of the Poo image and, in my opinion, she has done a fine job of it. She nows plays roles that are more down-to-earth and intelligent. And she is one of the few actresses who is allowed to display her comedic timing. How many times have we seen girls standing there reacting to male banter? It's annoying but Kareena, who is finally taking charge of her career, won't allow that to be her. Also, she is not afraid of the silly. The first time she did Poo in K3g was hilarious. It's obnoxious now because we know what it led to but back then we all fell for it. She got a Filmfare nomination for it, for crying out loud! After her fearless, full-bodied, exceptional performance in Jab We Met and 36 China Town (just kidding about the latter!), Kareena does another good job here. I mean, how many action heroines do we have in Bollywood? Zeenat Amaan? Priyanka Chopra? Lara Dutta?

Kareena is hilarious and sexy and I'm still looking for some pieces of my mind that she blew away. And there's this crazy moment in the climax where she (and I'm pretty sure they showed her face so it must have been actually her) does an air-borne flip, lands on Anil Kapoor and stabs him with a spear or something. I swear she channels Durga, exacting revenge on the demon Mahisasura. This iconic moment in her career is actually making a feminist statement about women being in control of their own lives and dominating a patriarchal society. The feminist that I am, that was a really intense part of Tashan. And it was really cool.

Anil Kapoor is really funny as Bhaiyyaji. Sometimes his schtick gets irritating, especially because it seems forced. And it's also typical. This is nothing new and Anil Kapoor saves it from being extremely obnoxious.

Saif Ali Khan is super suave and terrific. I mean, he is just really cool and he holds his own against action star Akshay. The man just oozes coolness especially in the earlier scenes at the call centre. Saif Ali Khan I think is at the point in his career where he will find success no matter what. Also, not only is Kareena objectified as a sexual object but Saif (and Akshay at some times) is as well, so all is fair for everyone in Tashan.

Praising Akshay Kumar is as unnecesaary as praising Haroon in Takoma Park. It just goes without saying. Of course, Haroon and Bachchan Pandey are funny. Of course, they emote well. Of course, they are really, really cool. Akshay Kumar has this look where he is adorably embarrassed, like a girl caught him talking about how much he loves her. He has this goofy smile, sometimes he puts his hand behind his head and he starts stuttering. God, that look is just brilliant and I never tire of it. Of course, Akshay is great in the action scenes as well. He does lift up a metal pole, swings it around and knocks some hoodlums off the roof. I mean, how do people find this movie unenjoyable!

Seriously, this movie is really funny and the music videos do full justice. The best video is Dil Dance Maare which literally comes out of nowhere and is a clever spoof of random dance songs. I think it got criticism because it is so random but hello! That's the point! Do Indian critics have no sense of humor? Lighten up. Then you have Falakh Tak which is an ode to romantic numbers of the 70s and 80s and 90s. It's cute and well-shot and Kareena looks absolutely look stunning in the black number. Chaliya and Dil Haara are good. In the former, Kareena's choreography is suitable to her (lack of) talents. Dil Haara is exceptionally shot. But I think the real star, of course, is choreographer Vaibhavi Merchant. Again she infuses these four songs with bohemian rhythms and eclectic dance steps. I could go on and on about her. Also, the costumes in this film deserve a mention, especially Kareena's. Yay Aki Narula!

Yash Raj Films is one of the most radically progressive production houses but unfortunately I seem to be the only one who thinks that. No other production house allows its directors full reign to make original, different and elaborate films. Now, it literally breaks my heart that the Indian audience and critics as well, aren't ready for such deviations from the cliched script. Even though pretty much every Yash Raj production is a flop, I still encourage you to keep faith in the company, because it is the only one that is actually expanding Hindi cinema to the reaches of the rest of the world. Tashan rates a 7/10. Go see it!

Just Say Yes to "No Smoking"!

People often complain that Bollywood is not original. And this is a valid statement since many movies are Indian versions of Hollywood hits. But, once in a while, comes an avant-garde picture with an original story, a revolutionary execution and terrific performances. No Smoking is one such picture. Directed by Anurag Kashyap, No Smoking stars John Abraham, Ayesha Takia, Paresh Rawal and Ranvir Shorey. The jazzy soundtrack is by Vishal Bhardwaj who I already praised in my U Me aur Hum review.

K (Abraham) is a chain smoker. His fiancee Anjali (Takia) realizes that he probably loves the cigarette more than he loves her, so she leaves him. Feeling lost without her, he decides to win her back and the only way he can is to quit smoking. Easier said than done! His friend Abhas Tyrewala (Shorey), who is sadly not called Cheenu by the characters, tells him about a camp of sorts that helps smokers quit smoking. What he thinks is a rehabilitation center is actually something quite different. He meets the eccentric Shri Shri - no kidding! - Baba Bengali (Rawal) who swears to K that his soul will be cleared of the dirty vice. K is a little spooked because a) to get to Baba Bengali is a quite a process; b) he hears screaming and sees many disturbing images; and c) one of Baba Bengali's heroes is the one and only Hitler. But, he signed the contract and cannot get out of it in this tale of addiction, the souls of humans, love and the power of the cigarette.

Everything in this film is novel. Cartoon bubbles present the thoughts of characters. A flashback scene is shown like a Charlie Chaplan flick. The background score is zingy and also uses old Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra hits. Anurag Kashyap succeeds in making Bollywood's first abstract - not unrealistic - film. The film switches from dream to reality and back again without apology. By the time the film reaches its shattering conclusion, you just don't know what to do with yourself. The film is scary, hilarious and thought-provoking all at once (but not in an "all-in-one" masala film way). Yes, there were times where I wanted to do anything else but look at the screen but in a good way. I feel that cinema's first goal is to entertain, yes, but its second goal is to challenge the viewer and make the viewer uncomfortable. For it is only when we are uncomfortable do we question ourselves. In what way am I like K? What are my addictions and what are they doing to my soul?

It doesn't hurt that John Abraham gives the second best performance of his career (his first will always be Jism). He is just perfect as the arrogant K. John Abraham, in my honest opinion, is just suited better for artsy independent films. He then doesn't get caught up playing the "hot villain" or whatever. Sure, this film does make use of his sex appeal but it totally makes sense for K to praise himself in the mirror after stepping out of the bathtub. John Abraham can be totally Western but also very Indian. He is just very good!

Ayesha Takia, though she doesn't have much to do, is brilliant. She actually gets a double role of sorts. She plays Anjali the concerned fiancee and also Annie the sexy secretary. Annie is really inconsequential except for some clever risque lines that I have heard elsewhere but not in Bollywood. Ayesha Takia plays both very differently. Not only that but she can do so much with so little and that goes to show that she is not a flash in the pan girl.

Ranvir Shorey is okay as Abhas. He is funny at times but he is the kind of character who is important but not enough to get a lot of screen time. Shorey is one actor who always gets sidelined sometimes. Paresh Rawal is excellent as Shri Shri Baba Bengali. He is mysterious and scary while stil working in a few jokes. I wouldn't say that this is his best role but the role could not have been done well without him, that's for sure.

Vishal Bhardwaj's score fits the bill. The songs are used mostly in the background with only the two chartbusters, Jab Bhi Cigarette and Phoonk De, having full-out videos (the latter of which stars the amazing Bipasha Basu). Jab Bhi Cigarette should be noted for its original choreography which is in the style of Bob Fosse. Even the bar the song takes place in is called The Bob Fosse!

Anurag Kashyap's cautionary tale about the dangers of addiction wasn't a box office gold mine nor did it garner great reviews. Perhaps the majority of Bollywood fans isn't ready for such abstract visuals and symbolic dialogues. Perhaps they don't like to question themselves or to make their own interpretations. That's okay. That group of Bollywood fans can always stick to their "Oh, So Obvious" masala films. But the rest of us can enjoy this enigmatic picture. No Smoking rates an 8.5/10.

Jodhaa Akbar - One Majestic Epic!

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, winner of Miss World in 1994, wife of Abhishek Bachchan, was put on this Earth to play Jodhaa, the fiercely independent yet totally devoted Rajput princess turned empress of all India.

Hrithik Roshan, son of Rakesh Roshan, husband of Suzanne Khan, too was born to play Jalaluddin Mohammed Akbar, the religious yet secular, the valiant yet ultimately peaceful Muslim emperor of India.

Ashutosh Gowarikar's romantic historical epic is lavish and exciting but also very human and emotional. The characters are not lost in the grand sets, the grand moments of history nor in the grand battles. The movie is just as comfortable with the internal scenes inside a dark, closed room as it is with large war scenes with thousands of extras and elephants and horses and the clanging of shield and sword. Aside from Aishwarya and Hrithik, the cast includes Sonu Sood, Ila Arun (the very same woman who sang Resham Ka Ruhmaal and Choli Ke Peeche), Kulbhushan Kharbanda and Nikitin Dheer, carrying on Ashu's tradition of using big names for only the leads. The divine music is by A.R. Rehman with the poetry of Javed Akhtar.

Jalaluddin (Roshan) is the first Mughal emperor to be born in Hindustan itself. Thus, he has a deep love for his country and its people and wants his people to practice whichever religion they choose since the people are mostly Hindu and the rulers are mostly Muslim. Raja Bharmal (Kharbanda) rules Amer, and agrees to rule under Jalaluddin, much to the chagrin of the other rulers. To solidify this deal, Raja Bharmal offers the hand of his daughter Jodhaa (Rai Bachchan) to Jalaluddin. She agrees to the marriage only if Jalaluddin lets her keep her Hindu beliefs and if he builds her a temple in her chambers. Admiring her straightforward nature, Jalaluddin agrees. This marriage is scandalous, alerting Maham Anga (Arun), Jalaluddin's nanny/most trusted minister and Sujamal (Sood), Jodhaa's cousin-brother/best friend. Sujamal, on a campagin to rule Amer, joins Sharifuddin (Dheer) to take down Jalaluddin, who now has won the favor of the people. They honor him by giving him the title Akbar (I'm not sure if this is just a name or if it means something. Jalaluddin is his given name as in, when he was born, his parents said, "And he shall be named Jalaluddin.") How Jalaluddin sees through the treachery of Maham Anga, wins the heart of Jodhaa and conquers the rebellious Sharifuddin forms this tale of love, war, deception and religious tolerance.

Ashu makes some bold artistic choices. Choices that make a viewer ask: "Did he just go there?" But, in the end, the movie is better for it. For instance, in any other movie by any other director starring any other actor, showing Jalaluddin completely entranced by the Sufi singers (in JA's loveliest song, Khwaja Mere Khwaja) would be almost laughable. But here it works. Because we know that Jalaluddin holds his faith very dear to his heart as well as his patron Khwaja, or saint. Also, Ashu and Haidar Ali write very interesting scenes for the blanks in the history book. Most amusing are the scenes showing the Mughals baffled by Jodhaa's Hindu practices or the subtle, adorable courtship between Jalaluddin and Jodhaa. Also, the scene where Jalaluddin travels through the Amer market, dressed as a nobody is key in showcasing Jalaluddin as a good ruler and why he deserves the title Akbar. The Rajput feast is a great sequence as is the scene where Jalaluddin punishes his traitorous foster brother Adham Khan. Basically, the movie is full of exciting scenes and great dialouges. You really only feel the weight of the running time right before the intermission but that's only because that part of the movie is full of great intermission points and Ashu chose the greatest. (The moon reflected in the lake being the "o" in "intermission" was just classic.)

Jodhaa Akbar can be seen as India's answer to the countless Greco-Roman stories being produced by America these days. The battle sequences have half the gore but maybe a third more the impact. This is because JA has real, live men battling each other not CGI clones. Also, these battle sequences include animals which just make things more awesome. Seeing an elephant crush a man is pretty cool even for me. I mean, normally I find battle scenes boring and I'm like, "Please just get to the drama and the romance! Jeez!" But these battles are exciting and original. They are not only well-choreographed but expertly performed by Hrithik and Sonu and Nikitin and Aishwarya. Yes, you read that right. Aishwarya gets two awesome, spectacular sword fights. And I know that it was really her and not just a double because a) her work in The Last Legion and b) her eyes are visible almost at all times in her fight with Sonu and her face is visible during her fight with Hrithik. Speaking of Mr. Suzanne Khan, his climactic fight with Nikitin Dheer's character is AMAZING as is the scene where he tames a wild elephant. No doubles were used in this movie or at least when concerning the two main leads. During the movie's many marvelous sequences, I thought to myself: How awesome is this movie!

Deciding which Rehman soundtrack is the best is like deciding which How I Met Your Mother episode is the best. It's impossible! Each is great and awesome. This holds true to JA. The soundtrack is absolutely splendid. Mann Mohana, the CD's weakest song, is picturized well, almost humorously (in a good way). Khwaja Mere Khwaja is such an amazing, laidback qawaali. The choreography is so simple yet very intricate. The camerawork is just too, too good. Jashn-e-Bahaara is good in showing the the growing love between Jodhaa and Jalaluddin. Azeem O Shaan Shahenshah is magnificent as the people's tribute to Akbar the Great. The choreography is great and spectacular. In Lamhon Ke Daaman Mein is straightforward and so very romantic. I heard some lame comments about Aishwarya cheating on Abhishek and I wanted to yell out, "HRITHIK IS MARRIED TOO!" but I didn't want to ruin the song. Sure, the video is a bit racy but why not? It is their much delayed wedding night, after all. The songs are all very well-done.

Speaking of In Lamhon, here you have two of Bollywood's most attractive stars who both need to prove themselves. Three-fourths of Hrithik's hits have been directed by his father and Aishwarya needs to break the "Married Actress" curse that Kajol and Madhuri Dixit have been (rather successfully) trying to break. The chemistry between Aishwarya and Hrithik is practically living and breathing. After their romp in Dhoom 2, they succeed again in completely different roles. They compliment each other and they look good together. The best thing is that, while it is no question if Jalaluddin thinks Jodhaa is pretty, we get to see Jodhaa admire her husband's good looks and swordfighting prowress. Just another great touch to make these larger-than-life characters more human.

Of course, there's more to these two's performances than their rocking looks. Hrithik Roshan is completely at ease as Jalaluddin Mohammed Akbar. His dialogue delivery and his body language is spectacular. He seems extremely regal but also extremely human. He is just so good and perfect as Jalaluddin and he doesn't even have to resort to a caricature of a guy who has some nameless mental disease and finds an alien! Aishwarya Rai Bachchan delivers a performance that no other Bollywood actress has attempted before. She is a woman who is very, very traditional but also very modern in thinking. She knows how to take control and push her man to be his best. Sure, she cries a lot in her first few scenes but then she gives a fierce, passionate performance. For both her and Hrithik, this is their career best.

The supporting cast is terrific. Ila Arun is fantastic as the evil Maham Anga, Sonu Sood is great as Sujamal but Nikitin Dheer takes the cake as Sharifuddin. The only real sour point is Amitabh Bachchan's narration. Sure, no one else has his kind of voice but why is he in everything?!

I dare say that Jodhaa Akbar is my generation's Mughal-e-Azam. It is a historical epic with a very modern message: people should not be judged by their culture or religion. It's funny that nowadays a Hindu-Muslim marriage is taboo because one of India's greatest emperors married a woman outside of his religion and fell in love with her despite these differences. Do these trivial things really matter? No. This movie comes at the right time. We all can learn from the just Jalaluddin and from the devoted Jodhaa. And while Lagaan was overrated and Swades was preachy, Jodhaa Akbar accomplishes much of what those two films tried to accomplish in its three hour and thirty minute running time. Kudos!

Jodhaa Akbar rates a 9.5/10.

PS: I am so glad Ash chose Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and not Aishwarya Bachchan. She will break the "Married Actress" curse, I know it.

Ta Ra Rum Fun!

It's refreshing to see a Bollywood movie with so much positivity running through its veins. Or maybe I'm still trying to recover from the selfish negativity of Saif Ali Khan's latest release, Race. Director Siddarth Anand's second outing (his first was the life-changing Salaam Namaste) is just overflowing with positive thinking. In Ta Ra Rum Pum, no one laments the difficulties of life, no one weeps melodramatically, no one curses the Gods for punishing them. All hurdles are faced with a solution and a smile. Also starring Rani Mukherji, Javed Jaffrey, Angelina Idnani, Ali Haji, and Victor Banerjee, TRRP is a charming, realistic, funny, inspiring, emotional and unique picture. Oh, yeah... So was Salaam Namaste!

Rajveer Singh (Khan) is a tire changer-turned-star racecar driver working for Harry Patel's (Jaffrey) team Speeding Saddles in NYC. He meets Radhika Shekhar Rai Banerjee (Mukherji) and the the two fall in love and get married. Years later, Rajveer is dubbed RV and is the king of the speedway. He and Radhika have two children Priya aka Princess (Idnani) and Ranveer aka Champ (Haji) and the family is living on cloud nine. Until a rival racer crashes RV's car and RV is hospitalized, forcing him to leace Speeding Saddles for a year. He tries to come back but the crash left him traumatized and he cannot bring himself to go fast enough to win. He loses his contract, his home and most of his possessions (they bought everything on loan or credit). The Singhs move to a studio in Flushing. Radhika and RV tell their kids that they are on a reality TV show called "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and so, they must try to smile through all their troubles. How they face their troubles and find success again forms the second half of this tale of family, love, money, racing and positivity.

At first, I questioned the decision to lie to the kids. However, as the story progressed, I realized that Radhika and RV were actually teaching their kids an important lesson: to not whine and weep about troubles but laugh through it and solve it. Also, there is an amazing unity between the parents when the kids ask the questions that kids ask. They easily catch onto each other's plans and schemes like when Priya/Princess complains about not having her own room: since she can braid her own hair, she deserves her own room! It's also nice to see the family not take the easy way out. Radhika could have easily called her rich father (Victor Banerjee) and ask for money, for example. But the family keeps its integrity.

The performances are strong all around. Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukherji are completely at ease with their characters. Saif Ali Khan can be the fun father, the successful sportsman and the hard-pressed hard-worker. Saif is just so good that all of the emotions and action seem so effortless. Rani Mukherji plays the more sensible and realistic of the two. Rani can display histronics but without going overboard. Javed Jaffrey plays the classier version of his SN character. He is good, though. Victor Banerjee plays the stern father well. The two kids, Angelina Idnani and Haji Ali are surprisingly expressive. They are not over-precocious nor do they try too hard. You might remember Haji Ali from Fanaa.

Technically, the film is flawless. Cinematography is zingy and fun, sets are cool and costumes are terrific. The soundtrack, by Vishal-Shekhar and Javed Akhtar, is actually lacklustre. It is, however, brought to life by one of Bollywood's rapidly rising choreographers Vaibhavi Merchant. Her style of dancing is unique because her steps are to the most obscure beats and not to the strings or to the words. Her dancers feel the rhythm throughout their whole bodies and not just in their feet and hips. The best video is Ab Toh Forever. Well done! Also, the version of the title song at the birthday party is noteworthy for its great animation. Hey Shona and Nachle Ve are cute. Saiyaan Ve and the first version of the title song are poignant.

Ta Ra Rum Pum is an entertaining picture. It's inspiring. In today's cynical world, it is good to see a family succeed by smiling their way through their problems. It's good escapist cinema. There's not a doubt in your mind as to what the ending will be. But who said the most important thing in a movie is the ending? Sometimes it's just fun to see how the characters reach the predictable ending. And in Siddarth Anand's story, the journey is full of laughs and love. Ta Ra Rum Pum rates a 9/10.

"RACE" to see this!

Abbas-Mustaan are a director-duo that refuses to back down. They began in the 90s with hit after hit after hit but somehow in the last few years they stopped making the edge-of-your-seat thrillers that they've been known for and instead made a comedy (36 China Town), lacklustre whodunit (Naqaab), a love story (Chori Chori Chupke Chupke) and a social drama (Aitraaz). I'm saying that these four are just different, not bad in any way (there is one sour spot on the A-M resume - Taarzan: The Wonder Car). With the ever-so-thrilling Race, A-M return to what they know best--and, how!

With a terrific star cast of (in alphabetical order) Bipasha Basu, Katrina Kaif, Anil Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan, Akshaye Khanna and Sameera Reddy, Race is probably A-M's most glamorous venture yet. Music is by the "original" Pritam and the lyrics are written by the mildly poetic Sameer.

Ranvir (Khan) and Rajiv (Khanna) are two extremely wealthy brothers, who jointly own a horse farm. Their business is owning, breeding and racing the majestic creatures. Ranvir is really the only one who cares about the family business. Racing horses (and winning) is his in blood, he says. Rajiv just likes to drink and have fun. Sohniya (Basu) is a model with whom both Rajiv and Ranvir fall in love but Ranvir steps aside when Rajiv promises to stop drinking if Sohniya marries him. Meanwhile, Sophia (Kaif) is Ranvir's besotted secretary but her boss thinks only of her as a really good employee. When it is revealed that either brother will get 200 million should the other die, a murder takes place. Enter Inspector Robert D'Costa aka RD (Kapoor), an eccentric detective with a beautiful but ditzy assistant named Mini (Reddy). As RD and Mini try to solve the case, the others will do anything to stop them and get their hands on the money

The best thing about Race is the twists. Abbas-Mustan have the characters betray each other like there's no tomorrow, revealing elaborate plans with people you didn't expect. And it's not as though these twists are there just because. They make sense. As the film goes on, everything is made clear and the motivations for the characters are given. Are there plot holes? Yes. But you have to be patient because, like I said, everything is made clear in the end.

This is the kind of movie where no character is the "hero" and no character is the "villain." All the characters are selfish and will do anything to get the reward. Who do you root for? Well, I chose to root for Katrina since she was my favorite in the cast. Others may have different picks.

The second best thing about Race is the music. Each song is picturized well and also placed well. A-M surely know where to put their songs. The first three songs (Dekho Nashe Mein, Pehli Nazar Mein, Zara Zara Touch Me) come quickly allowing more time in the end where a song could do damage to the plot. The two songs in the second half (Khwab Dekhe/Sexy Lady, Race Saanson Ki) come after big reveals allowing the audience to ponder. I would say the best song is the new one Khwab Dekhe/Sexy Lady.

SPOILER ALERT

Too bad it didn't really happen...

END SPOILER ALERT

The song itself is awesome (much better than what it replaced, Mujhpe Toh Jaadu) and the astounding choreography is well performed by Saif and Katrina. Both really worked on their previously mediocre dancing skills. Dekho Nashe Mein and Race Saanson Ki are also an improvement for Bipasha and Akshaye. Zara Zara Touch Me is terrific because it's Katrina's number but her costume is very unflattering. Saying that is like blasphemy since I worship Miss Kaif, but I guess it's not her fault but the costume stylist's. Pehli Nazar Mein is also really well-shot. Luckily for us Sameera and Anil get 0 musical numbers except for the ending credits number Race is on My Mind but that song is so lame you can leave the theater at the point.

The film is extremely well photographed and edited. Background music is fitting. Costumes are exceptional (except for the ZZTM fiasco... poor Katrina!)

Now, onto the performances... I would say Saif Ali Khan gives the best one. He is so restrained and he's great in the action sequences. Bipasha Basu is one actress who is not afraid of anything. She always plays strong women and Sohniya is no exception. This is one of her best, if not the best. Katrina Kaif plays her second toughest role yet. And she is a talented actress. Directors--please take advantage of her potential! Akshaye Khanna proves why he is still on top after all these years. His mannerisms, however, are getting to be the same in his carefree roles. Anil Kapoor is hilarious as the eccentric RD! His habit of eating fruits and speaking fruit vocabulary is so original and awesome! Sameera Reddy is the real suprise as she is also so funny as the ditzt assistant Mini. Do I wish it were Mallika Sherawat, who was in talks for the role? Yes. Am I regretting the final decision? No. Dalip Tahil and Johny Lever are fine in their short and unimportant roles.

A-M really honed their directing skills. This plot must have been really hard to film because the slightest wrong camera angle and everything could be ruined. Their hard work really paid off. Race is one thriller that everyone should "race" to the theaters and catch. Race rates an 8.5/10.

U Me aur Hum - Doesn't get any better!

For my maiden voyage as a blogger, I decided to review someone else's maiden voyage as a director. And what better debuatante director is there besides Mr. Ajay Devgan? Yes, you heard me right. Ajay Devgan, possibly the most down-to-earth, laidback Bollywood actor/husband out there, is making his directorial debut with the watery U Me aur Hum. Not only does he direct and star, he cast his most gorgeous and talented wife, Kajol. These two have an electric chemistry both onscreen and offscreen. I think they're the cutest and awesomest Bollywood couple out there (besides Mr. and Mrs. Rai Bachchan, of course). Wait! It gets better. The music is by the eclectic Vishal Bharadwaj, whose Omkara was both a cinematic and musical masterpiece. Ajay Devgan has shown, by not picking typical composers like Reshammiya or Pritam, that this movie will be something not so typical. Munna Dhiman does the lyrics, another good choice. Sure, I don't know who he is but that's good: it shows that Ajay Devgan did some research and found the right lyricist. I'll just say it now: this soundtrack is a masterpiece.

The opening track of this CD is the brilliant Jee Le. With a Spanish influence, this track is a thrilling listen. It builds momentum from the get-go and never stops. Okay, fine, the Spanish lyrics are lame and have horrible grammar but it's fine. Adnan Sami provides awesome vocals. He delivers a very strong performance. And he is to Ajay what Abhijeet is to the King Khan. And then there's Shreya Ghoshal, who just overwhelms you with her full-throated rendition. This girl is so versatile, I just don't know what to do with myself. The lyrics are conversational and very catchy. This song is a great opener to a great soundtrack. 10/10.

After such a exciting dance number, comes a very sweet love song: the title song. A solo by Shreya Ghoshal, the song is slow and calm. The lyrics are simple and romantic. The English lyrics should seem tacky but they don't. I don't really know why. They fit. Maybe it's the cruise setting. Shreya Ghoshal totally changes everything you've thought about her with her life-changing rendition. Vishal keeps the instrumentation at a minimum with the focus being on Shreya and Dhiman's lyric. I must mention the way Shreya sings the title line. Fantastic. 10/10.

This brings me to the third track. This one is also a solo but not by Shreya but by Sunidhi Chauhan. It's called Saiyaan. The lyrics are too, too good. "Maine toh maanga tha... saheli jaise saiyaan" goes the first line. The girl is describing her saiyaan but in such a unique way. The lyrics again are very conversational. The rhymes are simple but not simplistic. Vishal's music is so different. It goes from electric guitar to tabla in such awesome transitions. Also, there is Sunidhi's showstopping rendition. She is just so at ease and unassuming. This song is my favorite from the album. 10/10.

The fourth song also gets full marks for lyrics. Though sometimes the words are hard to comprehend, what you can understand is good, really good. Phatte is a chedh-chadh song between husband and wife, listing each other's faults and habits. Sunidhi and Adnan have a good vocal chemistry and they are both experts at this kind of song. After three strikingly original compositions, however, Vishal's music here is a downer. I mean, it's not bad but just not as good as Jee Le, U Me aur Hum or Saiyaan. I think what will pull the song up is its video. Kajol and Ajay will set the theater on fire with their awesomness. 8/10.

This movie is about a cruise ship. So it needs a song for the hero to sing while intoxicated. Dil Dhadka Hai is that song. Adnan, Shreya and Sunidhi sing this very loopy song. The music has a strong and complex instrumentation with simple lyrics. Again, the words are conversational and realistic. I know I say this a lot but there's just something about UMAH's music that makes it very relatable. The three singers are awesome in their vocals. Sunidhi provides only support to Shreya and Adnan who are the real stars. 9/10.

The title song is reprised. Unlike other "Part 2" compositions, this one is not a sad version but just an even mellower male version, sung by Mr. Bharadwaj himself. I find his voice very soothing and beautiful. His rendition of O Saathi Re from Omkara was spell-binding and this is no different. The music is simple which is not surprising. Many composer-singers (the good ones--not Himesh) want the focal point to be their voice and not their music. The lyrics are just a continuation of Shreya's version. It's hard to say which is better: they are literally equally good. A perfect ending to a perfect album. 10/10.

Ajay Devgan's directorial debut will be awesome. I just know it. A stellar album, a stellar cast, a rather original setting and a rather original plot can only add up to be one thing: a stellar and original film. Much praise to Ajay Devgan for avoiding the cliches and giving us a fresh debut.

U Me aur Hum rates a 57/60.