Scorpio Cancer Aries Capricorn

Imagine a world where your biggest problem is deciding which Priyanka Chopra clone you should marry. 

It is this world in which director Ashutosh Gowariker's romantic-comedy asks you to spend three-and-a-half hours. What's Your Raashee? is a film that works in parts but the parts that don't work are just full of glaring flaws. Starring Harman Baweja, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Chopra and Priyanka Chopra, "Raashee" has music by newcomer  Sohail Sen. So, what's the plot-shee? 

Yogesh (Baweja) is a student in Chicago who works very hard. He is the favorite of his grandfather who decides that Yogesh will inherit all of his wealth on the day of his marriage. Upon hearing this, Yogesh's family tricks him into coming back to India to get married so that they can use the money to pay off Yogesh's brother's gambling debts. He has only ten days to get married (a deadline given by the don). Thus he is taken by a family friend to meet twelve different girls - each of a different Raashee or horoscope. The reason he does this is because since he does not have time to properly fall in love, he decides that he can figure out with which girl he can learn to love if they are humraashees. Thus begins the search for the perfect girl! 

By now we all know that each girl is played by Priyanka Chopra. Here is a list of the twelve characters, their featured song and a short review for each. They are in order of appearance:

Anjali - Aries (no song)

Priyanka's acting is superb here, providing Anjali with a whole different accent. It is funny and sweet and you kind of want Yogesh to marry her.

Sanjana - Aquarius (Jao Naa)

Sanjana is bland; this is the Priyanka we've seen many times before. She looks stunning but the only difference between Sanjana and PC's other roles is Sanjana's jungle fever. 

Kaajal - Gemini (Aaja Lehraate)

Kaajal is adorable and endearingly naive. Harman Baweja has great chemistry with this avatar but you know they're not meant to be. 

Hansa - Cancer (Bikhri Bikhri)

This is my personal favorite. Priyanka does amazing acting here, and she does it all with her eyes and body language. Yogesh represents a shimmer of hope for Hansa and I immediately decided that he has to marry her. He doesn't, the jerk. 

Rajni - Libra (Maanunga Maanunga)

This is the second dud. It could have been funny but the writing fails the cast. Priyanka looks great but we all know her to be too nice to effectively play the tough-as-nails character in such a short time. 

Chandrika - Pisces (Sau Janam)

By time you get to Chandrika, you have to go to the bathroom and your patience is being tested. While there are some good/funny moments, poor writing again gets in the way. The song goes on way too long also. Luckily, Chandrika is close enough to the intermission to solve that bathroom issue.

Mallika - Leo (Dhadkan Dhadkan)

This starts out as another bland role for Priyanka but the sequence is elevated by some unexpected comedy.

Nandini - Scorpio (Aa Le Chal)

If the Cancer segment had the best dramatic acting, then this is by far the funniest one. Priyanka gets to show off her inherent flair for comedy especially in the part where she... you know what, I won't spoil it. It is just that funny. 

Pooja - Virgo (Pyaari Pyaari)

The problem with the Virgo vignette is that it starts off very adorably, becomes romantic through the song and then just ends. Pooja, a doctor who wants to work in poor villages, declares that she won't move to the US (which honestly should have been cleared up prior to their meeting) and that's it. All of the chemistry just goes out the window.

Vishaka - Taurus (Su Chhe)

This one was just really frustrating. Vishaka is a rich heiress who pretends to be insane to test her suitors. Okay, fine, except that Yogesh rejects her for that reason and yet he never learns that the insanity was an act. Maybe they could have made it? Priyanka's acting and the wonderful "Su Chhe" video save this one. 

Bhavna - Sagittarius (Salone Kya)

I loved the concept of the Bhavna vignette. See, Bhavna, who strictly adheres to astrological signs, says that she needs to sleep with Yogesh now otherwise their marriage will fail within a year. So she tries to seduce him with the song (my favorite song, actually). Except that Ashutosh Gowariker was too afraid to get risque and instead gives a frustratingly tame sequence and musical number. Missed opportunity, Ashu!

Jhankana - Capricorn (Koi Jaane Na)

This one was just heartbreaking. Jhankana is a fifteen-year-old girl but her parents are trying to pass her off as 19. Understandably, Yogesh rejects her and tells her parents to let her continue her studies and enjoy her childhood. 

The big question is: Does Priyanka succeed in creating 12 different characters who are unique and identifiable as separate beings? The answer is a resounding YES! While some of the Raashees are better than others (the top four being Scorpio, Cancer, Aries and Capricorn, pictured in that order), all of the characters are fully realized women with different habits, dialects and personalities. Even the ones that leave a lot to be desired (Taurus, Pisces, Libra and Sagittarius being the four worst) are a treat to watch purely for the spectacle of seeing Priyanka fully embody multiple characters. 

Harman Baweja, on the other hand, just is not as good an actor. I applaud him for being secure enough to accept a role where the focus will always be on the heroine(s). He's charming and not painful. But he's not AMAZING either. 

The supporting cast is terrible. They're all from the 1970s and they just don't know how to act credibly or subtly. This movie belongs to Priyanka and Harman and they have no help from anyone else.

 

11 of the 12 Raashees have their own song and there are 2 versions of the title song. The songs are all awesome on CD. There is a lot of diversity and the choice of singers is very well-done. 

But, a little less than a third of the movie is song. Usually I'm never a fan of cutting songs in half for the movie (a common plight of Rahman songs) but for this movie it just seemed necessary. Some songs like "Aa Le Chal" and "Aaja Lehraate" are the right length (3 to 3.5 minutes). But some songs like "Sau Janam" and "Maanunga Maanunga" are way too long. The first half of "Sau Janam" takes place in real time and then the second half switches to a dream sequence (a parody of 90s love songs). They could have just kept the dream sequence and axed the real time portion. 

Poor editing choices run rampant in the movie. Extraneous sub-plots and unnecessary scenes are plentiful and this is what brings down what could have been a great movie. It's almost as if Ashu was so in love with the rough cut that he just couldn't part with any of it. His movies have always been long but this one just feels longer and harder to sit through. 

And, it takes them forever to get to the first Raashee. It's almost as if they know that we've come to see Priyanka so they held her off for as long as possible. 

So, should you see this movie? Well, yes. Why would you miss out on one of the finest displays of acting talent that I've ever seen? Just be prepared to sit through everything you don't want to see. It makes me sad that Priyanka Chopra (and to an extent, Harman Baweja) have to deal with all of the unnecessary parts of the film along with all of the wonderful parts. This is one to watch only for Priyanka Chopra and her awesomeness. What's Your Raashee? rates a 6.5/10. 

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I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

Hidden somewhere under that glamorous persona was the fine dramatic actress that Katrina Kaif has proved herself to be in the political thriller, New York. Also starring John Abraham, Neil Nitin Mukesh and Irrfan (formerly Irfan Khan - don't ask me he changed the spelling of his name), New York is a sharp look at the effects of 9/11 on various South Asians living in the city at the time. NY is directed by Kabir Khan, who previously helmed Kabul Express, another gritty film about terrorism. 

Omar (NNM), Sam (Abraham) and Maya (Kaif) are three good friends living it up in college in New York. Then tragedy strikes on the eleventh of September and their lives, as well as the lives of every other person in the nation, are changed forever. 

The truth of the matter is, 9/11 had a huge effect on South Asians all over the country. So a movie detailing this was bound to come. NY raises some very important questions: what do you do when the very country you love so much turns its back on you simply because of your name and your religion?

The film offers many sequences that would be unbearable to watch under someone else's direction. Khan, however, shows us the reality of things without going into the shock-factor danger zone. Kabir Khan handles the entire film with the hands of a skilled director. Scenes at the college are frivolous, yes, but the framing device of the film saves it. The film opens mysteriously which then coats the happy scenes in the first half with dread. 

Irrfan as the FBI agent Roshan does what he does best. e can crack a joke and then deliver a dramatic monologue in the same scene. It's always a pleasure seeing him on the screen.

Neil Nitin Mukesh gives us more of what we saw in Johnny Gaddaar. If he sticks to these kinds of films, he will go far as a supreme dramatic actor. 

John Abraham has already proven himself as a fine actor (Jism, No Smoking, Kabul Express) and yet this proves to be his finest. The journey his character goes through is tough to watch (in a good way) and not one I've seen before. 

This brings me to the lovely and enchanting Katrina Kaif. I've always maintained that the actresses who are truly beautiful are the ones who still look amazing sans make-up (for example, Aishwarya, Kareena, Kirron Kher, Priyanka, Preity) and I'm adding Katrina Kaif to that list. This is Miss Kaif's first non-glam role and she is fabulous.

It is in my opinion that anyone can act well. They just need the right role. And this is that role for Katrina Kaif. Critics everywhere agree with me when I say that Katrina Kaif has shown immense growth as an actor. The complete 180 she does during the intermission is wonderful and this role will score her some nominations come awards season. 

I always knew she had it in her. I mean, call me bias, but Katrina Kaif always had electrifying screen presence even when she just played a mannequin in her earlier work.  She showed some growth in Namastey London but she wasn't quite there yet. Then, last year, she proved she could do comedy in Singh is Kinng, a role of hers I will defend to the grave (or pyre). I thought that Yuvvraaj would solidify her place in the industry but that proved to be just another mannequin (albeit one that could play the cello). New York not only opened the door for her but also pushed her through it. Now, hopefully, she will be taken seriously. And judging by the trailer of her next film, Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani with Ranbir Kapoor, she already has been. 

I'd like to talk about the trailer for this film. I personally think it is a well-made trailer. Here's why: it is both completely misleading and yet precisely what this film is about. That's the best way I can explain. All I can say is watch the movie and then watch the trailer afterwards and it'll make more sense. Hopefully. 

The music in this film fits the movie really well. None of the songs really go home with you. I would recommend you watch the remix videos for "Hai Junoon" and "Mere Sang". 

This movie will have some haters for sure. But these are the people who think that Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna condones infidelity or that Dostana is a copy of I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. New York is a well-made political thriller with strong performances and a smart screenplay. It is a definite must-see. NY rates an 8.5/10.

The Pot is Boiling!

Aa Dekhen Zara has everything I love about Indian potboilers. A hot cast. Catchy music. An original but ultimately outlandish concept. Foreign locales. Exciting fights. Thrilling twists. And an ending that throws you for a loop before becoming what you expected.

Directed by newcomer Jehangir Surti, ADZ stars Neil Nitin Mukesh (who, 1.5 years ago gave us the sublime Johnny Gaddaar), the always delightful Bipasha Basu, Rahul Dev and Sophie Chaudhary (whom you might recognize as Baby Doll Vol. 3 from Pyaar Ke Side/Effects). Most of the music is by Pritam but there is a remix of the song "Aa Dekhen Zara" which was remixed by Gaurav Dasgupta. The remix is sung by Neil Nitin Mukesh. More on that later.

Ray (NNM) is a struggling photogapher who just found out his grandfather, Dr. Joshi, has died. He has inherited an old camera from his grandfather, who was a famous inventor. Ray tries out the camera but when he develops the pictures, he realizes that the pictures aren't of what the subjects were doing when he took them but of what they're doing now 24 hours later. He realizes that this camera shows the future. He then uses the camera to win lotteries, horse races and at the stock markets. He becomes a changed man due to his wealth, much to the chagrin of girlfriend Simi (Bipasha Basu). When he develops a picture that was taken of himself, it is blank which, according to the film's mythology, means that he will die. Add to that, the Captain (Rahul Dev) is after the camera and will stop at nothing to get it. How Ray and Simi evade the Captain as well as try to figure out how to change Ray's fate forms the crux of this thriller.

Like, okay, you know and I know that ADZ is not the best picture ever (Dostana, you are safe, don't worry). But if you can enjoy it for what it's worth, then you are in for a fun ride. Like most desi potboilers, this one moves at too quick a pace for you to notice the plot-holes. It's a fun, escapist thriller. For what else can you ask the Film Gods?

Let's be real here: this is a movie about a camera that can tell the future... You know that it's not going to be grounded in reality.

Neil Nitin Mukesh is not given as complex a character as Vikrum in JohnnyG. But he performs well. He also is not as hot as he was in JohnnyG but he looks good enough. One of the many things I like about him is that he always looks composed. Only once does he actually have a breakdown but it's understandable since he just found out that he's going to die. So this movie may not be the best choice for his career but I can see how this role was attractive to him.

Oh, Bipasha...Yo puedo mirarte en cualquier pelicula. I can watch you in any movie (except for Footpath). I like Bipasha because she always plays independent, ambitious and urban career girls. Sure, you have a boyfriend but you don't need him to survive. Like Ray, Simi is not the most well-written character. But Bipasha makes her fun. Did I mention these have a great chemistry?

Rahul Dev leads the supporting cast and he performs well. Everyone else fits their part. God, I wish there were more of Sophie Chaudhary. She was perfect in PKS/E and there was a small trace of that same charm here. But she was grossly underused.

The best thing about the movie is its music. Aside from the god-awful "Paisa is Power" track, every song is a hit. "Rock the Party" is a mellow dance track that's perfect for just hanging out to some cool beats. "Gazab" is the movie potential chartbuster and the video, though it literally comes out of nowhere, is a winner with some campy choreography, interesting costumes and a stellar performance by Shaan and Sunidhi Chauhan. The "Aa Dekhen Zara" remix is okay but NNM's singing is above average. But the crowning jewel of the album is "Mohabbat Aapse." An Indo-pop love song, this one has interesting music, great lyrics and a stellar rendition by Akruti Kakkar. Don't worry, I'm not too sure who she is either. Download "Mohabbat Aapse" and "Gazab" for sure.

Is this a perfect movie? Of course not! I paid $5 for my ticket and I felt like I got more than my money's worth. Hot faces, fun music, solid thrills. Isn't that precisely what potboilers are all about? Aa Dekhen Zara rates a 7/10. Enjoyable!

Chandni Choke Me to Death

Generally, when I sit down to watch a film, Hindi or otherwise, I expect it to be a little illogical. That's because I think directors have to manipulate reality a little in order for their plot to work. I mean, they're writing a script, they're creating a world--they can make up the rules.

But sometimes in a movie, again Hindi or otherwise, the absence of logic is far more than just some logistical problems. Sometimes a movie is just a bunch of random sequences that make sense when it comes to the plot--but that don't make sense when it comes to how the world works.

And I'm not talking just about conincidental meetings of characters. No, no, this is when a director manipulates reality so much that the film seems to not take place in a world imitating our own, but in a world purely concocted by the director. But wants to be seen as imitating our world.

So, welcome to the world of Chandni Chowk to China or CC2C, the third directorial venture of Nikhil Adwani who struck gold in the glorious Kal Ho Naa Ho and the tribute to Bollywood Salaam-e-Ishq. Starring Akshay Kumar, Deepika Padukone, Ranvir Shorey, Mithun Chakraborthy, Roger Yuan and Gordon Liu, the movie has stellar music by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy, Bappi Lahiri and Kailash Kher.

Sidhu (Kumar) is a street-chef in Chandni Chowk who dreams of becoming bigger than he is. His Dada (Chakraborthy) provides him with mundane advice and a kick to the butt that sends him flying across the city. Chopstick (Shorey) tries to tell him he's the reincarnate of an ancient Chinese warrior Liu Sheng. This fact is confirmed when he finds the face of Ganesha in a potato. Some Chinese men come to find Sidhu when they need him to kill their tyrannical boss Hojo (Liu) or something. Chopstick leaves that fact out during translation and Sidhu goes to China thinking he'll be treated like a rock-star. On the way he meets Sakhi (Padukone 1), a spokesmodel for new technological toys who is searching for her long lost twin sister Suzy (Padukone 2) who is a henchwoman for Hojo. Suzy goes by the name Meow-Meow. Also thrown ino the mix is the twins' father (Yuan) who was supposedly killed by Hojo. Can Sidhu eventually vanquish Hojo? Will Sakhi find her family?

Going into this movie, we know that the answers to both those questions is YES. Action-comedies, Hindi or otherwise, generally don't have sad endings though I did find myself rooting for Hojo to kill Sidhu so that I didn't have to myself. Okay, we know the ending but someone said that cinema isn't about the ending but the process through which the characters get to the ending. Unfortunately, this middle of this movie is a process. I mean it takes forever for people to realize that Suzy and Sakhi are two different girls, for Sakhi to find her father and for her father to train Sidhu. Although there is a nicely edited scene where the twins and their father keep missing each other and it is quite funny to see the police going after the wrong twin, Akshay calling Meow-Meow a crook (earlier Sakhi stole his place in line for a Chinese visa or something). The fact that Suzy and Sakhi have two different hair, clothing and makeup styles is lost on everyone else. Twin comedy is usually pretty funny. There are two funny scenes and this is one of them.

The other happens not too much later. In the village that Sidhu is supposed to save, they just have had a drunken celebration. So he goes to sleep and finds Sakhi in his bed. Still mad at her after the visa incident, he locks her in a closet. In comes Suzy, ready to seduce and kill Sidhu Poison Ivy style (plastic lips covered in poison). She dances to some seductive Bollywood hits ("Hothon mein aisi baat," "Zara zara, touch me" among others). He calls Chopstick and Chopstick falls in love with Suzy and the song switches to "Churaake dil mera, goriya chali" which happens to be one of my favorite Akshay Kumar hits. In a strong bout of meta-fiction, Kumar says "this is my hit!" and proceeds to dance to it. It's inspired, self-referential and the kind of comedy at which Adwani excels. Why he felt he had to do a kung fu action comedy I'll never know.

Other than those two sequences, the comedy falls flat. And this largely due to the horrendously bad performance by Akshay Kumar. He usually is a comedic genius but in CC2C he just misses the mark. He overdoes everything! It's as if he is pathetically trying to win our affections by jumping up and down and yelling, "Look at me! I'm funny!" And he does this banshee-style wailing where his voice cracks and it goes on for fifteen seconds. This is his catchphrase and it makes me want to find the closest noose.

Ranvir Shorey, another good comedic actor, is reduced to a tired "angel/devil over my shoulder" gimmick and racist costume. He isn't given any good material and his characterization is under-written.

Mithun Chakraborthy, when not giving mundane advice, is shown kicking Sidhu on the butt and sending him clear across Delhi. And then shows up where Sidhu lands. What?!

The Chinese actors are really just caricatures. Roger Yuan plays Hojo as a parody of Oddjob from Goldfinger. Gordon Liu is your typical kung fu master/teacher.

Deepika Padukone is surprisingly good as the Suzy and Sakhi. She plays both of them very differently. Suzy is cold, exacting, unfeeling. Sakhi is sweet, charming, and beautiful. Nikhil Adwani gives Deepika some good material to flex her comedic musicle.

The music is highly enjoyable on CD but here the songs just slow down the proceedings. The songs all have unoriginal, standard videos. The most fun one is the title song. "Tere Naina" is the best song but the presposterous setup undermines its beauty. Not SEL's best work.

This movie is a complete waste of time, talent and Teepika...Deepika. Nikhil Adwani--please stick to family dramedies! Chandni Chowk to China rates a 3/10.

The Top 15 Movies of 2008

Ah, 2008... wasn't it great? Though not exactly a good year for cinema when it comes to money-making, 2008 really pushed the envelope in creativity So I am going to discuss the fifteen movies you need to see, the movies that signify the best of the best.

15. 1920 (Adah Sharma, Rajneesh Duggal)
What sets this horror film apart from other "demon posesses girl" horror films is its execution and its performances. The movie is absolutely terrifying but what makes it worthwhile is its question of faith versus science. This is a thought-provoking movie with some satisfying thrills. Adah Sharma, an atypically beautiful woman, throws in a strong, chilling, confident debut.
You'll be surprised by: the pre-intermission scene--it's one of the scariest scenes ever.
Why not to watch: Rakhi Sawant's cameo brings everything down. The hero didn't even enjoy it.

14. Tashan (Akshay Kumar, Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Anil Kapoor)
What makes this movie so great is that it is generally hated by India. No, no, they didn't understand the tongue-in-cheek tone and the comic book style violence. But those two things are the soul of this film. And you have the hilarious trio and a quirky Anil Kapoor. Plus the songs are just so hummable.
You'll be surprised by: just how original this script is.
Why not to watch: If you're a Kareena hater, you're going to hate this movie since she is its best performer.

13. De Taali (Ayesha Takia, Ritesh Deshmukh, Rimi Sen, Aftab Shivdasani)
What is a movie with this cast doing on my list of the best of 2008? This is a small, quirky and charming romantic-comedy. It is funny, unnecessary and borderline ridiculous but that is the whole point. Throw in a bouncy soundtrack, strong acting jobs and you have a Saturday afternoon well-spent.
You'll be surprised by: how much you're going to like Ritesh Deshmukh in this film
Why not to watch: You don't have a heart or a sense of humor

12. Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! (Abhay Deol, Paresh Rawal, Neetu Chandra, Archana Puran Singh)
What with Rediff critic Raja Sen's endless praise for this film, I expected to hate it. But this crime comedy stole my heart. It starts off extremely well, but the second half kind of trips over itself. The film is an enjoyable watch and it is highly original. Abhay Deol is turning out to be a strong actor.
You'll be surprised by: how quickly the title song takes over your life. ABCD chaida mainu, vaadi biddi chaida mainu...
Why not to watch: Paresh Rawal does three roles in the film.

11. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (Shah Rukh Khan, Anusha Sharma, Vinay Pathak)
What is unfortunate about this film is that Ms. Sharma is good in her part. She's too good in her part as a village belle and she will fall victim to the same handicap that stopped Gracy Singh, Mahima Chaudhary and others from having the career they deserved. But why worry about that? This small-scale love story is dangerously charming. No matter how much you want to hate it, you just end up falling in love with it Raj&Simran-style. And SRK finally makes fun of himself in a role that parodies the same role we all couldn't live without in the 90s.
You'll be surprised by: how the plot takes on a Shakespearean tone with disguises and mistaken identities.
Why not to watch: If you don't know Shakespeare, this will seem like every other SRK movie.

10. Fashion (Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Raunat, Mughda Godse, Arbaaz Khan)
Whatever mistakes Priyanka made in the first four of her six releases this year are quickly wiped out with this hurricane of talent. Priyanka, though helped by a strong supporting cast, rests this film on her shoulders and she proves to be a stellar Atlas. The costumes are expectedly gorgeous. Just a good watch in all.
You'll be surprised by: Kangana Raunat's inability to speak credibly.
Why not to watch: Your local Indian store doesn't have it yet to purchase/rent.

9. Thoda Pyaar, Thoda Magic (Rani Mukherji, Saif Ali Khan, Rishji Kapoor)
What other critics didn't like in this film, I will never understand. You have a hilarious, charming and sometimes heart-breaking Mukherji, a sensible Khan, 4 delightfully un-precocious children and a bouncy and imaginative execution. Take the best parts of The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins and throw in some good-natured Desi-ness and you have TPTM.
You'll be surprised by: a hilarious Amisha Patel in an extended cameo.
Why not to watch: Amisha Patel has an extended cameo.

8. Bachna Ae Haseeno (Ranbir Kapoor, Minissha Lamba, Bipasha Basu, Deepika Padukone)
What everyone needs to cheer up is this fresh romantic-dramedy about the growing up a man has to do. Ranbir Kapoor is a natural, relatable leading man and his three heroines are really good in their short parts. Kunal Kapoor shows up for a brilliantly done guest appearance. And I still listen to "Khuda Jaane" and "Aashista, Aahista."
You'll be surprised by: which girl gets the meatiest part (though I ruined that spoiler in my review)
Why not to watch: The actor playing Ranbir's friend is one big eye-roll.

7. Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na (Imran Khan, Genelia D'Souza, Ratna Pathak Shah, Manjari)
What's that phrase...old wine, new bottle? Well, JTYJN is the opposite: new wine, old bottle. Like 2007's Jab We Met, Jaane Tu takes a story as old as the hills (friends who don't know they're in love) and gives it a fresh spin. Imran Khan, unconventionally sexy, gives an impressively strong debut. But Genelia D'Souza is the real star. Her performance is ferocious, sensitive and hilarious. The supporting cast is also very good.
You'll be surprised by: Manjari's heartbreaking performance as the self-blinding Meghna.
Why not to watch: The film glorifies the masculinity=violence idealogy and that leaves a sour taste.

6. Rock On!! (Farhan Akhtar, Arjun Rampal, PRACHI DESAI, Luke Penny, Purab Kohli)
What did we do before Prachi Desai? This woman gives a confident debut considering she started in the worst place possible: Indian soaps. Farhan Akhtar emerges as a better actor than director and Arjun Rampal shows us that he isn't just a poster boy. Penny and Kohli provide good support. "Yeh, Tumhaari-Meri Baatein" deserves to be an award-winning number.
You'll be surprised by: how this movie stayes with you long after the credits roll.
Why not to watch: You still haven't forgiven Akhtar for Don: The Chase Begins Again.

5. Singh is Kinng (Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Neha Dhupia, Kirron Kher, Om Puri)
What Akshay Kumar should be known for long after he is retired is his endless quest to make us laugh. The man is a comedic genius with a black belt and I respect his work in this film. He becomes Happy which makes us, well, happy. Katrina Kaif provides good support both as a heroine and in the fighting scenes. The other cast members are great in this feel-good film.
You'll be surprised by: just how FUNNY Neha Dhupia is. I'm so glad she's becoming a legitimate actress.
Why not to watch: If you didn't like Welcome, this is cut from the same thread.

4. Dostana (Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham, Priyanka Chopra, Bobby Deol, Kirron Kher, Boman Irani)
What this movie is, besides too hot to handle and too sexy to survive, is perfect. I can't think of a single flaw to attribute to this hilarious sex-comedy. I mean, sure, you have your logisitical problems, but without them there would be no film. John and Abhishek prove to be a good comedic pair and then you add a superb Priyanka and you have a strong, united cast. Irani and Kher give lots of laughs with their over-the-top caricatures. Bobby Deol adds some wholesome charm to the proceedings. Plus, there's the nonstop hit machine soundtrack and the beautiful Miami.
You'll be surprised by: how much John shows some almost-nudity. Will India ever get over that ridiculous taboo?
Why not to watch: You hate laughing.

3. Ghajini (Aamir Khan, Asin, Pradeep Rawat, Jiah Khan)
What this movie has ie everything: action, romance, suspense, comedy and Jiah Khan. Aamir Khan plays his most complex and demanding role yet. His nearly animalistic cruelty of the present scenes is nicely balanced with romantic hero of the flashback scenes. Tamil actress Asin gives the first half its comedy with some Frasier-style farce. But she also delivers in the second half in one of the most thrilling and scariest scenes in Bollywood. Rawat provides a good villain and Jiah Khan is surprisingly good. Golden Globe-winning A.R. Rahman provides his most complete soundtracks ever and every song is a hit.
You'll be surprised by: how quickly you become a slave to the song "Aye Bachchu." Also, Shreya Goshal's rendition of "Latoo, Latoo" is revolutionary.
Why not to watch: If you still think that this movie is a direct copy of Memento, you don't deserve to see it.

2. Jodhaa Akbar (Hrithik Roshan, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Sonu Sood, Ila Arun)
What this movie means to me is almost too hard to explain. I remember very clearly going to see it and being completely moved by the gentle courtship of Jalaluddin and Jodhaa. The political drama is also very complelling. Golden Globe-winning A.R. Rahman gives some very radical musical pieces like the earth-shattering "Azeem O Shaan Shahenshah" and the simply complex "Khwaja Mere Khwaja." And don't even get me started on the glorious performances by the two leads. Fantastic.
You'll be surprised by: the intense sexual tension between Jalal and Jodhaa.
Why not to watch: Unfortunately, the battle scenes leave a lot to be desired.

And the winner for the best film of 2008 goes to...

1. Race (Saif Ali Khan, Bipasha Basu, Akshaye Khanna, Katrina Kaif, Anil Kapoor, Sameera Reddy)
What other movie stood the test of time like this one did? 9 months after its release, this movie is still "on the mind" of many a viewer. Sometimes funny, sometimes suspensful but always surprising, this movie actually ended up on Rediff critic Raja Sen's "worst films" list specifically for the same reason why it's number 1 here: it keeps you guessing. And it's very glamorous. The costumes, sets, action sequences--everything is on a bigger scale. The 6 give good performances and the music is chart-busting. What else can you ask for in a thriller?
You'll be surprised by: Katrina's big jaw-dropper ("Boss? Woh mere boss nahin the...woh mere husband the!") Sorry. I just wanted to throw my favorite line in there.
Why not to watch: Sameera Reddy's part could have been written and acted better.

And there you have it, the 15 must-see movies of 2008.

Here are some superlatives of the year:
Hit Jodi: Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham
Worst Film: Drona
Best Choreography: Khwab Dekhe (Race), Jee Karda (Singh is Kinng) and Aye Bachchu (Ghajini)
Most Awaited Films Releasing in the Next Month: Luck By Chance, Dev D and Chandni Chowk To China
Best Song: Tu Muskura (Yuvvraaj)
Star of the Year: Priyanka Chopra
Nightingale Award: Dominique Cerejo for "Yeh, Tumhaari-Meri Baatein" (Rock On!!)
I'm Excited for the Career of: Adah Sharma and Prachi Desai

Hope you enjoyed it!

Dost-sauna

I saw Dostana on a cold, rainy Thursday afternoon in December. As some of you know, the resident Indian movie theater is the ImaginAsian. This little refuge of mine is all the way across town but not far enough to justify taking a taxi. There is no direct subway route either, so walk I must. All of the horrid walking conditions were easily forgotten within the first few minutes of Dostana.

You see, the opening song is "Shut Up and Bounce" starring a Miss Shilpa Shetty. She is always a delight and she definitely sets the screen on fire. But she is not the hottest thing the song has to offer. Oh, no, SUAB is an ode to the gloriousness that is John Abraham. Dostana pretty much made the ImaginAsian a sauna during its first two minutes and keeps the momentum going.

Starring John Abraham, Abhishek Bachchan and Priyanka Chopra, and with guest appearances by Boman Irani, Kirron Kher and Bobby Deol, Dostana is a rather racy comedy directed by Tarun Mansukhani With hit-and-miss music by Vishal & Shekhar, the movie has lyrics by Vishal himself, Anvita Dutt Guptan and Kumaar.

Kunal (Abraham) and Sam (Bachchan) are two bachelors living the easy life in Miami, meaning meaningless one-night-stands and mooching off friends for a place to live. When they're both evicted from their respective accomodations, they come to look at the same apartment. Except the landlady (Sushmita Mukherjee) says it's off-limits to them. Her niece lives there and she doesn't want her niece living with two men. So, they decide to pretend to be a gay couple, figuring who cares what the landlady and her niece think? Well, the niece turns out to be Neha (Chopra) and both guys start crushing on her while also keeping up the facade. The three become inseparable friends. But when Neha starts dating her boss Abhimanyu (Deol), Sam and Kunal try to wreck that relationship while also trying to woo Neha.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you one of the funniest movies of 2008. The situations in which these characters find themselves are ridiculous but not in an unbelievable way. The film is a lot of fun. Everyone looks like they're having the time of their life. Not only that, but the film is big on heart. That Neha, Kunal and Sam are best friends forever is totally understandable. The lead trio have a sizzling chemistry both in the fun scenes and in the dramatic ones. I got a little jealous of them. I would have loved to insert myself in Abhishek's place. Living with John and Priyanka? Whoa. I don't know what I would do with myself.

Abhishek Bachchan gives a career-redeeming performance. He is funny and surprisingly good in the dramatic scenes. After a lacklustre 2007 and 2008, Bachchan closes out the year delightfully. A lesser actor would have been overshadowed by Abhishek but John Abraham holds his own. He has an electric chemistry with both his co-stars. One of my favorite scenes in the film belongs to the two of them. The Kuch Kuch Hota Hai scene is very romantic.

Priyanka Chopra shows us once again why she is the coolest of the cool. She's beautiful, funny and just a great performer. Bobby Deol is surprisingly good in this film. At first I wondered why he was chosen but his character could not have played without the breezy charm of Bobby Deol.

The three older actors do well also. Sushmita Mukherjee is excellent as the eccentril Aunty. Boman Irani gives the caricature of the flaming queen some heart. But Kirron Kher gives a showstopping, downright hilarious turn in this film. She gives the film its must-see status.

The music of this film is okay but onscreen they look great. "Ma Da Laadla" is superbly funny and gives Kirron Kher the material she deserves. "Shut Up and Bounce" is sexy until Abhishek ruins it. "Jaane Kyun" shows the bonding process of the 3 friends very well. "Khabar Nahin" and "Kuch Kum" are well-done montages of love and sadness, respectively. But my favorite video is "Desi Girl" which is a well-choreographed dance video. Priyanka looks stunning in her sari.

Dostana is one of the hottest movies in the winter season and not just because of the glorious John and the marvelous Priyanka. This movie is a must-see comedy with good intentions. The title means "friendship" and I guess underneath all the homoerotic comedy, this movie is really about the importance of having good friends in your life. Dostana rates a 9/10.

Badhan mein sunti hoon main aahatein teri...

Watching the most beautiful woman in the world lip-synching to the most beautiful song in the world while also playing the most beautiful instrument in the world is a very over-whelming experience. Yes, if Yuvvraaj does nothing else for you, it will heighten your appreciation of Katrina Kaif, "Tu Muskura" and the cello. The three of these together is pretty much the highlight of Subhash Ghai's return to his old formula. Unfortunately, having watched this film, I came to the conclusion that you cannot go home again.

Not to say that this film is entirely horrible. But I had more fun nitpicking the flaws with the other Bollywood-addict in my family than actually watching the film. Starring Salman Khan, Anil Kapoor, Katrina Kaif, Zayed Khan, Aushima Sawhney and Boman Irani, this picture has brilliant music by maestro A.R. Rahman (see the review entitled "Suddenly, Last October") and lyrics by Gulzar.

Deven Yuvvraaj (Salman Khan) is an aspiring singer in Prague/Vienna (the characters say both) and he is in love with Anushka (Kaif), the lead cellist in their orchestra. He is rather poor and boorish, much to the chagrin of Anushka's father (Irani), who wants to marry her off to one of his friend's son. Deven makes a deal--if he becomes a billionaire in 40 days, he will marry Anushka. If he fails, he will step aside. You see, Deven's father kicked him out twelve years ago for fighting with his autistic older half-brother Gyanesh (Kapoor). Now that Mr. Yuvraaj has kicked the bucket, Deven thinks now is the time to return home and claim his part of the fortune. Their father has left all of his money to Gyanesh and this upsets Deven, the third brother, Danny (Zayed Khan), and their extended family who all want it all for themselves. Deven and Danny both try to convince Gyanesh, who is discovered to be a very talented singer by Anushka, to give them their share of the wealth. How Danny and Deven try do that and how this broken family becomes reunited forms this tale of family, love, money and music.

The main flaw of this film is that it doesn't realize that the plot about the brothers reuniting through music is far more appealing than the competition to get Gyanesh's inheritance. The reunion plot is actually treated as a subplot to the inheritance drama. Sure, the inheritance drama leads to the reunion of the brothers but clearly Ghai didn't see that we could care less about the evil extended family who wants everything for themselves. Oh, yes, there is a mamaji, a mamiji, a cousin and a daughter-in-law who will stop at nothing to make sure that the Yuvvraaj brothers get none of the family money (including attempted murder!). The story of a family coming together is timeless, but having an evil extended family makes this film look dated. This is the tragic flaw.


If you're able to see the diamond in the rough, however, the movie can be very enjoyable. Whenever the scenes take place out of London, it is smiles times. There are some fine moments between Katrina and Anil. It was refreshing to see some chemistry between them especially since their last movie together had them as opponents (Race). Also, Aushima Sawhney, playing lyricist Nandita, is a pleasant surprise. She is the film's narrator and she handles that part well. She has but one scene to herself on camera (with Anil Kapoor) and it is well-played. The second half is full of such sweet moments between the Khans, Mr. Kapoor and Ms. Kaif and this is where Yuvvraaj strikes gold. To make this the grand musical epic he wanted, Subhash Ghai should have given us more of these moments and less of the subplot I described in the above paragraph.

Anil Kapoor is basically a living legend. I don't want to repeat myself but he is one of the best actors of my generations. And his portrayal of autism is less of a caricature than Hrithik Roshan's (don't get me wrong, I love me some HR but Koi... Mil Gaya was insulting). There is, however, a major flaw in Gyanesh's diagnosis. He is said to have "genius disorder" which means that he is extremely and exceptionally talented in music (it could be other forms of the fine arts) and that is due to his autism. Ghai had the right idea; such a phenomena does exist but the term for it is not "genius disorder." According to the article, they haven't found the associated gene yet, which is probably why it hasn't exactly been proved as fact or named. Despite the lack of cold hard facts, I am a strong believer in this phenomena because I have seen so many examples of it.

Ever since I was born, Salman Khan has been a movie star in the truest definition of the term. He has a large, loyal fan following that follow him through thick and thin, through good and bad. Starting from MPK in 1989, he has been entertaining us and charming us with a consistent string of hits that are also quality films. As a loyal devotee of Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, it took some major pride-swallowing to admit this but those are the facts. No one else in Bollywood has the star power that he has and I respect him a great deal. In this movie, he may not have given the best performance but he is entertaining and I could see no one else in the part. He has stellar chemistry with the entire cast and he is not afraid of his age. Sure, there were some clothing and hair mishaps, but at least no sarong! (Ek garam chai ki pyaali ho...) With this movie (and a Planet Bollywood article posted on my sister's Facebook profile) I truly realized that our dear Sallu is an icon.


Katrina Kaif, in her first drama, will win no awards for her performance in this film. But, she is getting to be more comfortable with the camera. Also, I'd just like to point out that making fun of her Hindi has now just become old news. They made a joke about it here so now she knows her Hindi is bad. That joke has died. FIND SOMETHING NEW, I DARE YOU. Well, anyway, she looks like a professional at the cello. I'm not exactly sure if she's really playng but she did take lessons for the movie and it shows. Kudos!

Unfortunately, Zayed Khan failed again at acting this time around. Everything he does is so forced and his intonation is just off. But every cloud has its silver lining. Luckily for us, Zayed Khan is good eye candy. If only we could mute just his lines and just watch him and his costumes. Also, did he learn how to stare from Robert Pattinson?

BOMAN IRANI IS KING OF THE UNIVERSE. Enough said.

Now I'm going to discuss the Bhabi character (the brothers' mama's son's wife).

Now, in Bollywood, there are two types of sluts. One, as you know, are those women who appear in trashy item songs in B-grade movies. All of these Item Girls are trashy unless they're a legit actress making a fun cameo because only real actresses can pull of item songs.

The other type of slut is a lot less discussed because she is oft-disguised. The Bhabi character (whose character name and real name I cannot remember) belongs to the Society of Sluts in Saris (or SSS). These are women who wear tight saris with low-cut blouses. They speak in shuddh Hindi and are very respectful. The elders of the family to which they belong love them for that exact reason and are blind to their real ways. What makes them a part of the SSS? Ralph Fiennes may be the constant gardener but the SSS is the constant seducer. They're always looking to bed the hot younger brother for their own personal gain and no one seems to notice! This drives me so insane!

Though all the songs are superb, the one that stands out is the aforementioned "Tu Muskura." Sensual, melodious, this song has a pretty cute video and at 2:50 is my favorite part. Unfortunately, the song is cut in half but I've come to expect directors to do that with Rahman's best work. It's a common occurence! I'd like to point out that that in the "Tu Hi Toh Meri Dost Hai" video, Katrina looks absolutely heavenly at 3:58-4:12. Sorry about the bad quality of the link.

All in all, Yuvvraaj is a good film but you have to dig through all the mud to get to it. There are definitely some major plus points but can they outweigh the negatives? In my opinion, the positives always kick the negatives all the way to Hoth. This movie is worth a watch. Yuvvraaj rates a 6.5/10.